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PSA by the Asian Alliance Against Domestic Violence (AAADV) and the Chinese Community Health Resource Center (CCHRC).

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We fought for the right to vote
Only we stopped short
Many are abused, too many!
Enough is enough!
Now is the time to speak up!

On average 182 females were killed every year in Canada.
27 – husband
20 – common-law partner
15 – divorced or separated husband

76% of women sought refuge in shelters across Canada in 2004.

Of those who report the abuse:
70% – experience physical abuse.
50% – experience threats
46% – experience financial abuse
31% – experience harassment
27% – experience sexual abuse.

40% of these women had been in a shelter the previous year.
38% had been there 2-4 times.
10% five times or more!

Emotional abuse IS abuse!

November 25th is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

DON’T be a victim!
Speak out!

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We all know about Sexual Abuse. We all know about Physical Abuse. But, we know very little about Emotional Abuse.

Emotional Abuse occurs when one person emotionally and psychologically abuses another person who is in need of sincere affection. This kind of abuse takes many forms…

Your partner Undermines your self-esteem. He/she delivers mixed messages: “I love you” (I hate you.)

It’s like pushing you through a cliff and running down to catch you.

Your partner can tell you the sweetest things and the most hurtful ones at the same time.

Your partner can also humilliate you by ignoring you.

He/she might contact you only when they are bored or have some spare time, or need something specific from you.

Your partner tells you that he “loves” you, or you are special, but he/she needs an open relationship.

Your partner bluffs making you believe he/she intends to spend time with you, even makes plans that will never happen.

Your partner tells you beautiful things he/she does not really mean at all, and will compensate your tolerance with small tender gifts.

Emotional abuse also occurs through financial dependency. One partner does not let the other be financially independent.

Or through intellectual and manipulative mind games. Abusers tend to play the victim or they take offense quickly.

They invariably put the blame on others, or on the world, or on their luck, or situation.

They accuse their partners of not understanding them, or not understanding their needs, creating a sense of lack of sensitivity on your part.

Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They need to control other people’s lives but will never show it.

They will pretend what you do with your life is none of their business.

Abusers often have several superficial relationships with other people. They escape reality and tend to live in fantasyland.

Abusers may be described as having a dual personality: they can be either charming or exceptionally cruel.

A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. They can be cool, calm, charming and convincing: a true con person.

Most of the time, they also deceive themselves. They are unable or choose not to see reality as is it.

Emotional Abusers do not acknowledge the harm they cause.

Some people abuse others emotionally because that’s what they learned.
They were victims of emotional abuse and neglect themselves.

These abusers can grow out of their abusive pattern and explore healthier ways to relate to others.

Some are aware of what they do and do not intend to change.

But the worse problem about emotional abuse is the fact that many people let others abuse them.

Stop.

Think.

Are you not worthy of a healthy relationship?
Are you not worthy of sincere love and affection?
Are you not worthy of an honest partner?

Don’t let others abuse you.
Turn your back on abuse.
Walk away from abusers.

If you are a victim of emotional abuse, seek help.

You cannot change an abuser, but maybe a professional therapist can.

Quit the game.

Don’t let an emotional abuser put you down.

Some have a hurtful way to create emotional codependency just by telling you exactly the sweet words you are hoping to and need to hear.

Don’t believe their words. Believe their concrete actions.

Does your partner’s words and promises match his/her actions?
Does your partner tell you he/she loves you and you are special but goes on with his life, ignoring you and ignoring your feelings?

You don’t need an abuser in your life.

You deserve someone who will love you and respect you for who you are, not for what they can get from you.

Even if it’s just attention.

Don’t fall for empty promises.
Abusers commit abuse because they know you will always give them another chance.
Don’t do it.

Choose to Love Yourself First.

Category: People & Blogs

Tags: verbal abuse self esteem mistreatment Love Emotional Abuse abusive relationships signs of abuser victim Humility Win Mertens Relationships Couples

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by Kenneth A. Vercammen, Esq.

New Jersey domestic violence laws are very strict. If there are any signs of physical injuries the police must arrest the abuser. Even without independent witnesses and no physical injuries, police may arrest the abuser. Domestic Violence is a crime under the law, and the police must respond to the calls of victims. The police are required to give the victim information about their rights and to help them. Among other things, police must write up a report. For example, O.J. Simpson would not have gotten away with abuse in New Jersey. Police are automatically required to arrest an abuser if they see any evidence of abuse or ault.
Even during the evening, your town Municipal Court or Superior Court can issue a civil restraining order which is a legally enforceable document. The temporary restraining order will prohibit the defendant/abuser from harassing you or entering your residence.
Unlike a criminal case where a person is provided with lengthy due process, and if guilty receives probation and a monetary fine, a domestic violence hearing allows judges to issue far reaching orders. A domestic violence hearing is usually held within only ten (10) days of the filing of an ex parte complaint and temporary restraining order. After a hearing , NJSA 2C:25-29 (b) allows the Chancery Division, Family Part Judge to grant substantial relief to the complainant.

At the hearing the judge of the Family Part of the Chancery Division of the Superior Court may issue an order granting any or all of the following relief:


(1)An order restraining the defendant from subjecting the victim to domestic violence, as defined in this act.


(2)An order granting exclusive possession to the plaintiff of the residence or household regardless of whether the residence or household is jointly or solely owned by the parties or jointly or solely leased by the parties. This order shall not in any manner affect title or interest to any real property held by either party or both jointly. If it is not possible for the victim to remain in the residence, the court may order the defendant to pay the victim’s rent at a residence other than the one previously shared by the parties if the defendant is found to have a duty to support the victim and the victim requires alternative housing.


(3)An order providing for parenting time. The order shall protect the safety and well-being of the plaintiff and minor children and shall specify the place and frequency of parenting time. Parenting time arrangements shall not compromise any other remedy provided by the court by requiring or encouraging contact between the plaintiff and defendant. Orders for parenting time may include a designation of a place of parenting time away from the plaintiff, the participation of a third party, or supervised parenting time.

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“We want to encourage women to seek help, with no sense of shame, and know that they are worthy and deserve a better life.”

Help us spread the word! Below are materials that you can distribute to your colleagues and friends to help us spread the message of the Say NO to Violence against Women campaign.
http://www.unifem.org/campaigns/vaw/
You Can Help!
Violence against women is perhaps the most pervasive human rights violation — affecting no fewer than one in three women. But it remains largely invisible. Fear and shame prevent many women from speaking out. But you can help them to be heard and to be seen through your actions, advocacy and support.
Are you being abused? Are you seeking information to help you understand what’s happening to you and how to make positive choices for change?
Woman abuse is any threat, act or physical force that is used to create fear, to control, or to intimidate you.
With all abuse, the abuser uses power over those they are abusing. Abusers often use alcohol or drugs as an excuse. But the abuser is responsible for his or her behaviour.
Physical, sexual and psychological violence that occurs in the family, including battering; sexual abuse of female children in the household; dowry-related violence; marital rape; female genital mutilation and other traditional practices harmful to women; non-spousal violence; and violence related to exploitation;

Physical, sexual and psychological violence that occurs within the general community, including rape; sexual abuse; sexual harassment and intimidation at work, in educational institutions and elsewhere; trafficking in women; and forced prostitution;

Physical, sexual and psychological violence perpetrated or condoned by the State, wherever it occurs
Start a Brand New Day

women are pushed and shoved
Hold your head up girls
You have the right to say no.
See that door? You should leave and start anew life.Forget the past and look for a new place , a better life.
Come give us your hand.We will listen to you, We will guide you and we will help you.
And who are WE?
Those who wer VICTIMS before!
We have succeeded and you an too

United Nations agencies like UNIFEM, the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), the World Health Organization (WHO), the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), and the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) provide information, statistics, news briefs, and updates on the situation globally. Human rights groups, women’s organizations, health care providers, and government ministries can all be sources of valuable information.

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My Sources ….

http://christianchildabuse.blogspot.com/2008/10/pervert-boys-brigade-leader-is-jailed.html

http://www.maledicta.com/library/ccabuse.html

http://www.nospank.net/fortune.htm

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