AbusersAnon.com - A help centre for domestic abusers » verbal

Identifying Verbal Abuse Pt 2

admin — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:28:15 +0000

The list titled, Categories of Verbal Abuse, continues from Part 1. The list was taken from the book,”The Verbally Abusive Relationship”, by Patricia Evans.
I will continue to include Verbal/Emotional Abuse education into my library of videos. If you have a specific question/request, for information or places to find help, send me a personal message or request. God bless my darlings! Much love!

Duration : 0:9:55

[youtube ysYY3stb-u0]

Don’t be a victim! Stop the abuse!

admin — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:12:56 +0000

An animated story of a turning point in my life. This video request is long overdue.
It was requested by subscribers quite a while ago that I make and upload this. I started in Feb. but the situation in life got better (thank god) and I never had time to complete it. Now that it is done I must upload an updated version of “my story” as my life has taken a much needed change for the better.
This is a very serious clip. I ask of you, if you are a victim of abuse, please, PLEASE, go to this site:
http://www.ndvh.org/
Break the silence, make the call!
Resources:
Statistics: Stats Canada.
Songs: Mao – Angelic Butterfly; Dixie Chicks – Make nice
If you are unable to hear me in the beginning here is what I said:
It was only six months ago
I had a normal life
normal chores normal house and a place to rest my head
but then
in one night
everything changed
One guy
One mistake
Months of tears
I took up my roots
I packed all my memories
I packed all my dreams
My goals my passions and I moved away
My dad arrived, we packed the truck. I moved two buildings over.
he bought me a sofa, it was my new bed.
for 2 months all my dreams, all my nightmares were absorbed by those sofa cushions
I worked hard, I saved everything. Now I have a new bed a new wardrobe and a new begginning
But my life, it continues to change.
I feel as though I were on a bike.
And I climbed to the top of the highest hill.
I set up camp, I became comfortable.
And one day a loving friend
A trusted partner, took it upon himself to push me down that hill on my bike
And before i knew it I was flying down that hill I had worked so hard to climb.
My bike wobbled unsteadily and I learned too late that I did not have brakes.
There was no more I could do than to hold onto my handles and pray that I’d make it to the bottom without crashing. I’m still falling.
But I know if I make it to the bottom. I will never again climb to the top. The risk is far too great that I’ll only get pushed down once more.
Instead if I survive I will bike far away from my past and never look back.
It was only six months ago.
If you were unable to read the stats in the video they are listed below:

We fought for the right to vote
Only we stopped short
Many are abused, too many!
Enough is enough!
Now is the time to speak up!

On average 182 females were killed every year in Canada.
27 – husband
20 – common-law partner
15 – divorced or separated husband

76% of women sought refuge in shelters across Canada in 2004.

Of those who report the abuse:
70% – experience physical abuse.
50% – experience threats
46% – experience financial abuse
31% – experience harassment
27% – experience sexual abuse.

40% of these women had been in a shelter the previous year.
38% had been there 2-4 times.
10% five times or more!

Emotional abuse IS abuse!

November 25th is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

DON’T be a victim!
Speak out!

Duration : 0:9:4

[youtube Qz8crG_DhaQ]

Emotional Abuse

admin — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:27:48 +0000

hhtp://www.abusoemocional.com and http://abusoemocional.ning.com
Stop Emotional Abuse, You Deserve Better.

We all know about Sexual Abuse. We all know about Physical Abuse. But, we know very little about Emotional Abuse.

Emotional Abuse occurs when one person emotionally and psychologically abuses another person who is in need of sincere affection. This kind of abuse takes many forms…

Your partner Undermines your self-esteem. He/she delivers mixed messages: “I love you” (I hate you.)

It’s like pushing you through a cliff and running down to catch you.

Your partner can tell you the sweetest things and the most hurtful ones at the same time.

Your partner can also humilliate you by ignoring you.

He/she might contact you only when they are bored or have some spare time, or need something specific from you.

Your partner tells you that he “loves” you, or you are special, but he/she needs an open relationship.

Your partner bluffs making you believe he/she intends to spend time with you, even makes plans that will never happen.

Your partner tells you beautiful things he/she does not really mean at all, and will compensate your tolerance with small tender gifts.

Emotional abuse also occurs through financial dependency. One partner does not let the other be financially independent.

Or through intellectual and manipulative mind games. Abusers tend to play the victim or they take offense quickly.

They invariably put the blame on others, or on the world, or on their luck, or situation.

They accuse their partners of not understanding them, or not understanding their needs, creating a sense of lack of sensitivity on your part.

Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They need to control other people’s lives but will never show it.

They will pretend what you do with your life is none of their business.

Abusers often have several superficial relationships with other people. They escape reality and tend to live in fantasyland.

Abusers may be described as having a dual personality: they can be either charming or exceptionally cruel.

A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. They can be cool, calm, charming and convincing: a true con person.

Most of the time, they also deceive themselves. They are unable or choose not to see reality as is it.

Emotional Abusers do not acknowledge the harm they cause.

Some people abuse others emotionally because that’s what they learned.
They were victims of emotional abuse and neglect themselves.

These abusers can grow out of their abusive pattern and explore healthier ways to relate to others.

Some are aware of what they do and do not intend to change.

But the worse problem about emotional abuse is the fact that many people let others abuse them.

Stop.

Think.

Are you not worthy of a healthy relationship?
Are you not worthy of sincere love and affection?
Are you not worthy of an honest partner?

Don’t let others abuse you.
Turn your back on abuse.
Walk away from abusers.

If you are a victim of emotional abuse, seek help.

You cannot change an abuser, but maybe a professional therapist can.

Quit the game.

Don’t let an emotional abuser put you down.

Some have a hurtful way to create emotional codependency just by telling you exactly the sweet words you are hoping to and need to hear.

Don’t believe their words. Believe their concrete actions.

Does your partner’s words and promises match his/her actions?
Does your partner tell you he/she loves you and you are special but goes on with his life, ignoring you and ignoring your feelings?

You don’t need an abuser in your life.

You deserve someone who will love you and respect you for who you are, not for what they can get from you.

Even if it’s just attention.

Don’t fall for empty promises.
Abusers commit abuse because they know you will always give them another chance.
Don’t do it.

Choose to Love Yourself First.

Category: People & Blogs

Tags: verbal abuse self esteem mistreatment Love Emotional Abuse abusive relationships signs of abuser victim Humility Win Mertens Relationships Couples

Duration : 0:6:59

[youtube cbKX0csxwoA]

Emotional Abuse: Lies Abusers Tell

admin — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 20:44:21 +0000

A short informative video on emotional abuse. Contains a selection of lies that abusers tell their victims in order to brainwash them to stay in the relationship.

Duration : 0:1:40

[youtube W_Hh-LJsya4]

Signs of Emotional Abuse

admin — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 20:44:02 +0000

Signs of Abuse, text taken from information from Interval House, Ontario, and North York Public Health Department.
You may also want to visit our website: www.abusoemocional.ning.com
Song: Now We Are Free (Gladiator)
by Enya

Duration : 0:4:9

[youtube Ll-V7mzSiN0]

Emotional Abuse

admin — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:57:31 +0000

www.abusoemocional.com
Stop Emotional Abuse, You Deserve Better.

We all know about Sexual Abuse. We all know about Physical Abuse. But, we know very little about Emotional Abuse.

Emotional Abuse occurs when one person emotionally and psychologically abuses another person who is in need of sincere affection. This kind of abuse takes many forms…

Your partner Undermines your self-esteem. He/she delivers mixed messages: “I love you” (I hate you.)

It’s like pushing you through a cliff and running down to catch you.

Your partner can tell you the sweetest things and the most hurtful ones at the same time.

Your partner can also humilliate you by ignoring you.

He/she might contact you only when they are bored or have some spare time, or need something specific from you.

Your partner tells you that he “loves” you, or you are special, but he/she needs an open relationship.

Your partner bluffs making you believe he intends to spend time with you, even makes plans that will never happen.

Your partner tells you beautiful things he does not really mean at all, and will compensate your tolerance with small tender gifts.

Emotional abuse also occurs through financial dependency. One partner does not let the other be financially independent.

Or through intellectual and manipulative mind games. Abusers tend to play the victim or they take offense quickly.

They invariably put the blame on others, or on the world, or on their luck, or situation.

They acuse their partners of not understanding them, or not understanding their needs, creating a sense of lack of sensitivity on your part.

Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They need to control other people’s lives but will never show it.

They will pretend what you do with your life is non of their business.

Abusers often have several superficial relationships with other people. They escape reality and tend to live in fantasyland.

Abusers may be described as having a dual personality: they can be either charming or exceptionally cruel.

A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. They can be cool, calm, charming and convincing: a true con person.

Most of the time, they also deceive themselves. They are unable or choose not to see reality as is it.

Emotional Abusers do not acknowledge the harm they cause.

Some people abuse others emotionally because that’s what they learned.
They were victims of emotional abuse and neglect themselves.

These abusers can grow out of their abusive pattern and explore healthier ways to relate to others.

Some are aware of what they do and do not intend to change.

But the worse problem about emotional abuse is the fact that many people let others abuse them.

Stop.

Think.

Are you not worth of a healthy relationship?
Are you not worth of sincere love and affection?
Are you not worth of an honest partner?

Don’t let others abuse you.
Turn your back on abuse.
Walk away from abusers.

If you are a victim of emotional abuse, seek help.

You cannot change an abuser, but maybe a professional therapist can.

Quit the game.

Don’t let an emotional abuser put you down.

Some have a hurtful way to create emotional codependency just by telling you exactly the sweet words you need to hear.

Don’t believe their words. Believe their concrete actions.

Does your partner’s words and promises match his/her actions?
Does your partner tell you he/she loves you and you are special but goes on with his life, ignoring you and ignoring your feelings?

You don’t need an abuser in your life.

You deserve someone who will love you and respect you for who you are, not for what they can get from you.

Even if it’s just attention.

Don’t fall for empty promises.
Abusers commit abuse because they know you will always give them another chance.
Don’t do it.

Choose to Love Yourself First.

Duration : 0:6:50

[youtube EHo0C6mGcto]