would you ever forgive an ex for physical abuse in the past?
January 1, 2010 - 1:45 pm
providing he got help and was sorry? has anyone been there and done that? did it work or backfire? i realize noone has a right to touch another person ever!!! i wonder how the mind of abuser thinks? or do they? which is worse physical verses emotional?
I have seen many studies on the subject. And according to REAL studies, about 98% of them continue to beat their girlfriends/wives even after therapy.
If you go back, he will almost certainly beat you worse than before. His thinking will be, "She came back, therefore she wants me to beat her."
January 1st, 2010 at 7:09 pm
you can forgive him, but can you trust him. that is your next question or should be
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January 1st, 2010 at 7:57 pm
real forgiveness takes time be careful it is hard to change someone.
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January 1st, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Both forms of abuse are horrible. They ususally go hand in hand actually. I’ve been with a guy who thought slapping me around was the way to go. He did change a little (and I do mean a little!) towards the end but there were way too many bad memories. I hate to say it but I don’t think it’s worth it. Even if they get loads of help, I wouldn’t go through it again. Life is way too short to deal with somone’s else’s issues and their dysfunctional behavior. They always say they’re sorry and it won’t happen again. It just takes one bad day to slip back into old patterns and 9 times out of 10, they slip.
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January 1st, 2010 at 8:19 pm
No.
Long time ago, my ex slapped me and I punched him back, we split, he begged me to come back and said sorry, 2 years later he slapped me again and I didn’t hit him back, just packed my suitcase and left. He begged and cried like a little dog but I was not going to make the same mistake.
I should never take him back first place..
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January 1st, 2010 at 8:32 pm
hi where can try to forgive its much harder to forget or trust in the same way you once did before it started ,the way to see it is in hes ways,in hes eyes and how he treats you and others when you think about it remmber what he use to say way back then and the way he says and does things now in todays life, then take a little time and youll find your answers within you then do as you feel is right for you only .
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January 1st, 2010 at 9:06 pm
i did .. four years ago when my husband physically abused me.. seperated for two years, and i forgive him cos he pleaded and we stay back together
we did not divorce cos i still loves him
now no more physical abuse but emotional abuse, some of the things can forgive cannot forget, a leopard will not change his spot cos he said sorry to bring me back to the marriage, not he realise that he should not raise his fist.
wasted four years of my youth, now going thru divorce proceeding .. well i just want to setp up and start to live a life of my own.
is very very hard due to the emotional ties..often, we already knew what we supposed to do but just did not take the first step out ..
wish you all the best
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January 1st, 2010 at 9:29 pm
I would never forgive…
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January 1st, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Once a victim, always a victim.
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January 1st, 2010 at 10:37 pm
I have seen many studies on the subject. And according to REAL studies, about 98% of them continue to beat their girlfriends/wives even after therapy.
If you go back, he will almost certainly beat you worse than before. His thinking will be, "She came back, therefore she wants me to beat her."
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