Why do some women continue to put with physical and mental abuse?
December 5, 2009 - 1:26 pm
Why don’t they just leave when the abuser goes to work or goes out?
i am a non abusive male and do not understand why women put up with abuse. let me say that there has to be a million reasons why women do not get out. it seems to me that there are 2 main reasons. FEAR and FINACIAL SECURITY. i will also say that there are plenty of organizations that are eager to help these women, so, ladies, talk to co-workers, friends, neighbors,etc. look through yellow pages of your local phone directories. there is help available,trust in this and your life will surely improve and you WILL NOT regret it, especially if there are kids involved. everyone has the right to live a peaceful, happy, prosperous life. best wishes!!!!!!
December 5th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
They want attention or
they still think they love that person.
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December 5th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Love is blind. They believe they deserve it.
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December 5th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
love can be so blind.
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December 5th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
you mean verbal abuse?
sometimes it is hard to walk away
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December 5th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
The truth is sometimes women are afraid to leave. The abuser has created such a mind game for the victim that they are unsure about how to escape. The truth is the victim has to really want to get out of that situation and if they believe that they have no one out there that is willing to help them then they will be trapped forever. I know what it is like and I chose to leave for my children.
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December 5th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
There are so many different reasons why a woman won’t leave the abuser. There are so many levels to it than just "she won’t leave him." Many of the women are mentally abused so they come to believe that they are "useless or pathetic" and unable to be on their own. Or they think they can change them.
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December 5th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
If only it was that easy. I have left my husband because of emotional abuse and it took me a long time to get to that point because you honestly believe that you love them and they love you deep down. There is that belief, the one that brought you together in the first place, that he’s a great guy and that he didn’t really mean what he said or did. He’ll wake up and he’ll change. It’s not easy to decide that things will never get better. It’s a blow to your entire world.
I can also say, however, that once the move has been made, things will eventually get better. My blood pressure decreased and once in awhile, i even remember to smile.
It’s not easy to leave. I agree too many people stay in relationships for the wrong reasons, but leaving is a very hard decision. Especially when kids are involved.
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December 5th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
low self worth, living years with the abuser they don’t think they deserve any better. they may be financially stuck, have no where to go, and don’t think enough of themselves to leave. they fear the unknown, fear being alone, and in spite of the abuse, love their abuser.
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December 5th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
The thing with abusers is that they do what they can to make sure that the woman don’t leaves. They may take the money, they may belittle them so much that they are afraid they wont be able to make it on their own, or maybe they don’t have anyone else to turn to, or anywhere else to go. Just because the woman leaves does not in any way mean that she is weak or likes the negativity. There are just certain circumstances that make them stay. If there are kids involved, it really makes it that much harder to leave. Until you are in the same position, no one should judge them or make it as why don’t they just leave. It’s not always that easy!
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By the way, it makes me discusted that people actually think that the abused is in some way stupid or likes the attention. Obviously those people have not experienced that kind of relationship, and until they have they should not open their mouthes because they are only making themselves look ignorant.
December 5th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
They have gotten used to it over time and it is easier to stay stuck in the same rut than it is to get out of it and go to a new place. It has to get bad enough for them to realize that they can make a change for the better. Abusers however are awfully good at immobilizing their victims, so once they have isolated and trapped you psychologically, they can do whatever they want to you. It’s just about personal strength – that is how you get out. You fight your way out – you say, I don’t have to take any abuse.
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December 6th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Several reasons and I’ve been through it.physical goes away but mental stays forever. When your told the same thing everyday you start to believe it. the physical breaks you down. Your threatened to be killed and children taken away so your afraid. I can go on and on. My bottom line was I’d rather be dead or take the chance then go on with him. But you and only you have to get to that point first. Also back when they didn’t have shelters or didn’t advertise. Embarrassment and shame also enter into the fact.
P.S. I got out after 7 yrs and have been happy ever since. It’s been26 glorious years WITH my son.
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December 6th, 2009 at 12:35 am
i am a non abusive male and do not understand why women put up with abuse. let me say that there has to be a million reasons why women do not get out. it seems to me that there are 2 main reasons. FEAR and FINACIAL SECURITY. i will also say that there are plenty of organizations that are eager to help these women, so, ladies, talk to co-workers, friends, neighbors,etc. look through yellow pages of your local phone directories. there is help available,trust in this and your life will surely improve and you WILL NOT regret it, especially if there are kids involved. everyone has the right to live a peaceful, happy, prosperous life. best wishes!!!!!!
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