After leaving an abusive relationship, how long was it until you dated someone else?
And what were the emotional and mental effects soon after leaving the abuser? How long did it take to heal and believe/trust another man again?
To date someone else was about 1 year I wanted to be alone as far as living by myself had a few dates such as a party type or with some friends never alone 1on 1.
My mental and emotional feelings @ the time was every man was a loser, a cheater, a drunk, a abuser of drugs and used women for their beating bags or to put down with each breath they took in the presents of a female.I hated this person wanted to kill his entire family all @ the same time if any or all came near me.
To heal takes time for some years others months some days,weeks for me several months once I knew this person was out of my life and away from me and NEVER to be seen again I started to relax and start to live MY life again Got a job never had with the person had my own money and could do as I wanted .Felt so Good Too.Took around 1 year for me to really date and find happiness but did and now have a wonderful hubby for 7 yrs now and NO abuse what so ever….
November 28th, 2009 at 3:49 am
jus the right amt of time
good luck
u need to rebuild urself esteem so as to stand up to the next butthole who comes knockng
it’s all up to u. if u feel that u;ve had enuf time, then nothing should stand in the way of ur neew relationship.
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November 28th, 2009 at 4:36 am
like 1 min after.
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November 28th, 2009 at 5:09 am
give yourself time it can take awhile to build your selfesteem
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November 28th, 2009 at 5:26 am
its up to you.whenever feels best.i hope that you arent hurt too badly (physically/emotionally) but i do know that whenever you feel you can believe another man,youre there.good luck =]
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November 28th, 2009 at 5:35 am
uhhhhhh never. too depressed. I was depressed and sad forever. I never trusted antoher man,
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November 28th, 2009 at 5:43 am
I broke up with an abusive guy in May and I’m still not ready for someone new
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November 28th, 2009 at 5:48 am
my friend was in an abusive relationship and finally he beat her and she broke her neck so she went to the cops and her parents but yeah after getting a restraining order it took her about 2 years until she is now dating again but is doing background checks on all guys she dates. but it will always be with her and she is afraid still but she makes sure she has someone to be with her on dates or around in the area so nothing will happen.
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November 28th, 2009 at 6:27 am
That is a very open question and it’s got a broad amount of time spans. You could get over it instantly, years from now or never. It’s all relative to the abuse given, the profoundness of it and the individuals themselves. It’s entirely on their terms when they choose, (if ever they do) to trust a man to enter a relationship with them again. The same applies for a man being abused. The spectrum is difficult to pinpoint as different mental and physical forms of abuse have different lasting effects.
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November 28th, 2009 at 6:57 am
What you should do is make a list of what you want in a husband (don’t make it about anyone). If someone doesn’t match up with your list, then they are not for you and there is someone better for you. You should always get to know someone as a friend before dating them. Your marriage will be a lot better if you and he are friends and not just husband wife.
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November 28th, 2009 at 7:36 am
To be honest, it took me three years, and then I found my husband. I took things with him very slow so I could make sure that he was a safe person to be with forever. In all honesty it depends on you, and what happened to you. When you do enter into a new relationship, there will be things that remind you of the abuse, but you have to remind yourself that the new guy is not the one who hurt you. Also I suggest you talk to the new guy when you find him, you dont have to go into details, but after you have been together for at least 3 months I would tell him. Also you have to be careful not to fall into the same type of relationship again. If the guy is controling, he will turn into an abuser in the future. Trust me I know about these things. Also I suggest that you email me if you have any more questions, you can email me on yahoo answers. I wish you the best of luck, and congratulations for getting out of an abusive relationship, that takes courage and if you can get out of it, then hopefully you will stay out of it.
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November 28th, 2009 at 8:06 am
I still have not dated since I broke it off with him which was in March. I agree that you have to give yourself some time because you might get sucked up into the first guy you meet after your experience and be a little infatuated.
Luckily for me, soon after the breakup I fell for a wonderful Christian man who had the patience to build me up through all my distrust and heartache. I wanted to date him right away but he insisted on us being friends first and I’m glad that’s the way it went. As friends, he helped me to understand that I could trust men again, that I didn’t have to be bitter, and that not every guy would blow me off like my ex.
It’s been 8 months that I talk with this guy and although I still like him and we are not dating, I love that I found somebody who didn’t turn away from me even when I tried to drive him away with all my fears from the past. Find somebody who knows your situation and who will be patient enough to help you get through this.
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November 28th, 2009 at 8:37 am
I am 7 months out of a 12 yr abusive relationship! I immediately began working on myself first. Not blaming myself for the past but being thankful for my future! I have been reading inspirational books and understanding why I stayed so long and what I need to do so it won’t happen again. I am not looking for a relationship now really haven’t dated this is a stress free time. I realized I have girlfriends that’s kind of cool and hang out with them for comedy shows> My advice date yourself!
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November 28th, 2009 at 9:27 am
To date someone else was about 1 year I wanted to be alone as far as living by myself had a few dates such as a party type or with some friends never alone 1on 1.
My mental and emotional feelings @ the time was every man was a loser, a cheater, a drunk, a abuser of drugs and used women for their beating bags or to put down with each breath they took in the presents of a female.I hated this person wanted to kill his entire family all @ the same time if any or all came near me.
To heal takes time for some years others months some days,weeks for me several months once I knew this person was out of my life and away from me and NEVER to be seen again I started to relax and start to live MY life again Got a job never had with the person had my own money and could do as I wanted .Felt so Good Too.Took around 1 year for me to really date and find happiness but did and now have a wonderful hubby for 7 yrs now and NO abuse what so ever….
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