My Sister is with an emotional abuser please help!!?
Help! I need some ’serious’ advice! My sister (29) met an emotional abuser 3 yrs ago. 2 days ago it finally came to a head. We finally saw eachother after 1 1/2 months (she lives 20 minutes away!? but is kept ‘busy’ by her boyfriend). He called about 10 times in the 4 hours we were together. I finally got fed up when he wouldn’t let up on the phone and let us spend time together. She decided to hand over the phone and I asked him why he was harrassing her so much and interfering with our ‘precious’ time. He proceeded to verbally abuse me and tell me off, when I told my sister everything he said, of course he denied it. I told her( and him) she could do better than to waste her life with an emotional abuser….Now unfortunately she is mad at me and won’t speak to me, he keeps threatening her that he’s gonna leave etc..I don’t feel bad for what I did, being a victim of such abuse I will not take that from anybody. I know all I can do is be here for her but I am very confused..?!
As hard as it may be you should just stay out of it. as long as she is not getting physically abused….if you try to interfere, it will make it harder for her, and take her longer to get up the courage to leave. but let her know that you are there for her, whatever her decision.
February 5th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Dont be confused….its your sister that needs the reality check. She is currently stuck on stupid. You can only be an ear and a shoulder until she sees the light.
References :
February 5th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
You are lucky you know your sisters problem. I hid my emotional abusing husband for 10 years. I am so happy it is over now. Pull your sister out of this dead end situtation. It is slowly killing her. Do what ever it takes to get her out of this relationship. If all fails, just be there for her. She is so lucky to have you by her side.
References :
February 5th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
I understand how you feel. Your sister is in denial. Perhaps there has been some physical abuse as well. Stay close to your sis no matter what. At least you know what’s going on. She may need you one day. Let her know that you are there for her always.Even if she doesn’t realize what is going on right now.
References :
February 5th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
unfortunatley hon all u can do it hope your sis gets tired of it and moves on…
she is the one who has to leave.
you see what happens when u try.
my sis was married to a loser and has 2 kids. her esteem was so low when she finally wised up.
just continue your support and remind her she can do better, i’d ignore the bastard! fussin with him will only make her mad. you have to work on her esteem.. build her up and lett her know she’s better than that.
maybe give her an example of "a friend" of yours in a similar situation, maybe she’ll see then.
good luck
References :
February 5th, 2010 at 8:17 pm
As hard as it may be you should just stay out of it. as long as she is not getting physically abused….if you try to interfere, it will make it harder for her, and take her longer to get up the courage to leave. but let her know that you are there for her, whatever her decision.
References :
February 5th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
My mom is a counselor and the first step of an abuser of any kind is usually isolation
He called all the time because of control issues
She has to know he was abusive to you. It is called denial
Call her and apologise. I know you are not wrong
You gotta leave the door open for when she needs you to get away from him
Don’t tell her you told her so either
Don’t bad mouth him.
Just be there for her. She is your sister and is going to need you. We all make mistakes and regret them. What gets us through them is family and friends
Peace and love to you both
References :