How do you know someone is a POTENTIAL emotional abuser?
Having come out of an emotionally abusive relationship I realise that the change from charming to controlling appeared subtle. So now of course I am afraid of talking to anyone in case they try to work their spell on me.
What are the warning signs to look for from the very first contact so that I can avoid ever being in this type of situation again? All advice greatly appreciated.
Oh, yes, can’t they just be the most gallant charmers.
You might want to take a look at the book The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. (You can get it in paperback.) He explains it quite well. The warning signs, and how to pay attention to your intuition about people like that. We get in trouble most times because we refuse to pay attention to those nagging little intuitions we get about people.
I’m of the opinion that a little background check couldn’t hurt, either. 
I wish you well.
November 21st, 2009 at 3:50 am
She nags, tries to change you, controls your friendships and social life, reads your emails, goes through your phone, uses emotional blackmail, doesn’t trust you, won’t accept your word, complains all the time, imagines problems and assumes they’re real, spends your money as if its her own… you get the idea.
References :
November 21st, 2009 at 4:34 am
Oh, yes, can’t they just be the most gallant charmers.
You might want to take a look at the book The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. (You can get it in paperback.) He explains it quite well. The warning signs, and how to pay attention to your intuition about people like that. We get in trouble most times because we refuse to pay attention to those nagging little intuitions we get about people.
I’m of the opinion that a little background check couldn’t hurt, either.
I wish you well.
References :
November 21st, 2009 at 4:57 am
Follow your gut, a lot of the clues are subconscious so you’ll pick up on them subconsciously. You know what it was like, if someone starts to go in that direction cut it short right then.
References :
November 21st, 2009 at 5:35 am
first thing u should do is not judge them straight away but only judge if they have done something basically when ur saying potential your judging them which might be a mistake. their are a couple of ways you can tell though while your talking to them. are they fidgety when your choosing something off a menu or choosing clothing around them? do they seem to be the centre of the conversation and directing it much? and are their eyes erratic. these are the signs of someone who is controlling and has something they wish to hide or can be a bit dangerous physically and mentally
References :