I want to start a petition to bring back the death penalty for monsters abusing children. How do I do? Anyone interested?
How about instituting sterilization of child abusers?
Better think about that. Abortion is the ultimate child abuse.
I have no way out due to having no other financial support than them.Read my previous question for more info.
First of all, my sincere apologies. No one should have to go through what you have to face. Now, I will tell you what I think you must do…you need to ask a crucial question. I know you’re in a bind. You’ve got no money and that makes it hard. But there is help for people like you. If you feel that your life is in jeoprardy, do not hesitate to seek refuge in a nearby church or organization. It’s tough, I know. Drastic, to say the least, but this might be your answer. If you can’t get away right now, just stay out of their way. But remember if this doesn;t work, you need to leave.
No matter what you do, you need to make sure to let go and forgive. Not for them, but because God blesses those who forgive and He will give you peace. I will tell you in advance, that I am a christian and am facing something similar in my life. The first thing you have to do cry out for stregnth and realize that he loves you so much. I know you might be mad at him b/c you think it’s his fault. But he puts us in situations like this just so he can rescue you and build a real relationship with you.
Trust me, I understand your pain.Sometimes, I wish no one had to go through it. But the truth is your trials make you strong and build character. And they force you trust a higher power. I’ll pray for you. Always remember you are priceless to God…so valuable. God bless.
Every time a women gets in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend/husband she tries to hold on to the "relationship" as long as possible, enduring more abuse and, if she has kids, putting them in danger as well. She is always giving the guy more and more chances to start over. She might even defend him in front of her concerned friends and family. WTF?
Lots of reasons, one of the main being self esteem.
People with high self esteem have strong boundaries and know what makes them feel good and what doesnt. People with boundary issues put up with abuse because sad as it is, it sometimes takes them awhile to work out that things are not working and never will.
In addition, women like this usually have a history of abuse, starting from childhood. This is why they end up wired differently. And their idea of ‘normality’ is often infiltrated with abusive behaviours.
Most abuse in relationships doesnt start out in the physical sense. It is often subtle, and aimed at breaking down a persons self esteem over time.
Some of these women actually believe that no one else would love them as they are so stupid, ugly, incompetent,,,rah rah, the list can go on. This is often how they are portrayed by their abuser. And so they come to believe they are lucky they have someone to put up with them! And this is often why they defend their abuser too. Plus they hope by doing so perhaps they will be seen as loving the abuser and they might get treated a little better for awhile.
Abuse can be subtle enough at the start to not seem like abuse. After a time, it becomes worse and more frequent, but if you are immersed in it, it can be hard to ascertain when it got worse.
Of course, when (or if) it gets physical, there is no fine line there as to it being abuse. That is the day you should move out and never look back, but for many women, they lack the courage to do it because they are limited in all areas, self esteem, self image, and possibly have little resources like income and even family and friends to back them up.
After a time, some of these women work it out and move on to better healthier relationships. Takes a lot of soul searching though.
And kids can become hurt, which is the saddest thing of all.
It can produce repeat performances in them as adults, but sometimes they develop good boundaries because they have seen their mother abused.
Sadly, many times these women dont get it. And it becomes worse as they age. It has become ingrained behaviour and they know no different. There is also an interesting finding that adrenalin responses in women in bad relationships is huge. They virtually live for the good times, the reconciliations and in a normal relationship, these ‘highs" are absent.
Why? Because normal relationships are built on mutual love and respect and we feel good in them pretty much all the time, and when trouble happens each of the partners is there for each other.
This could seem rather foreign and strange to a woman with a past full of abuse. It takes time to learn how good relationships work. For these women, they have no idea.
In an ideal world, no woman would put up with crap. But what about the men who abuse them?
Abused women are more likely to receive criticism than the men who do it to them.
Food for thought.
Every time a women gets in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend/husband she tries to hold on to the "relationship" as long as possible, enduring more abuse and, if she has kids, putting them in danger as well. She is always giving the guy more and more chances to start over. She might even defend him in front of her concerned friends and family. WTF?
Lots of reasons, one of the main being self esteem.
People with high self esteem have strong boundaries and know what makes them feel good and what doesnt. People with boundary issues put up with abuse because sad as it is, it sometimes takes them awhile to work out that things are not working and never will.
In addition, women like this usually have a history of abuse, starting from childhood. This is why they end up wired differently. And their idea of ‘normality’ is often infiltrated with abusive behaviours.
Most abuse in relationships doesnt start out in the physical sense. It is often subtle, and aimed at breaking down a persons self esteem over time.
Some of these women actually believe that no one else would love them as they are so stupid, ugly, incompetent,,,rah rah, the list can go on. This is often how they are portrayed by their abuser. And so they come to believe they are lucky they have someone to put up with them! And this is often why they defend their abuser too. Plus they hope by doing so perhaps they will be seen as loving the abuser and they might get treated a little better for awhile.
Abuse can be subtle enough at the start to not seem like abuse. After a time, it becomes worse and more frequent, but if you are immersed in it, it can be hard to ascertain when it got worse.
Of course, when (or if) it gets physical, there is no fine line there as to it being abuse. That is the day you should move out and never look back, but for many women, they lack the courage to do it because they are limited in all areas, self esteem, self image, and possibly have little resources like income and even family and friends to back them up.
After a time, some of these women work it out and move on to better healthier relationships. Takes a lot of soul searching though.
And kids can become hurt, which is the saddest thing of all.
It can produce repeat performances in them as adults, but sometimes they develop good boundaries because they have seen their mother abused.
Sadly, many times these women dont get it. And it becomes worse as they age. It has become ingrained behaviour and they know no different. There is also an interesting finding that adrenalin responses in women in bad relationships is huge. They virtually live for the good times, the reconciliations and in a normal relationship, these ‘highs" are absent.
Why? Because normal relationships are built on mutual love and respect and we feel good in them pretty much all the time, and when trouble happens each of the partners is there for each other.
This could seem rather foreign and strange to a woman with a past full of abuse. It takes time to learn how good relationships work. For these women, they have no idea.
In an ideal world, no woman would put up with crap. But what about the men who abuse them?
Abused women are more likely to receive criticism than the men who do it to them.
Food for thought.
Just wondering . . . I’m getting tired of waiting.
Then again, maybe I should just start being a loud, insecure jerk, too. Then I would have women lined up around the corner to be with me.
Sadly, Mike, some women never learn. It didn’t take me too learn at all. I dated one real jerk in college who was horrible…and I met a great man after college who had been married to a real shrew…and when we got together it was magical…and 22 years later, it STILL IS!
The secret, I think, is that neither of us was looking for love. I had actually sworn it off…and was headed to law school after college, and he was a soldier (and the brother of a college friend) who needed a place to stay for a weekend while in town)…well, we hit it off, so he kept on coming back to town…so a year later, I married him!
A suggestion: to find a good person, figure out something you are really interested in, such as Habitat for Humanity, volunteering with Big Brothers, Big Sisters, etc. and spend some of your spare time doing that…you will meet good, like-minded people of the opposite sex…and perhaps a relationship will follow. Shallow women rarely "waste" their time on good causes…so it stands to reason that you will find a better calibre of woman there…
I am a Hospice volunteer…but I didn’t begin doing that because I was looking for a partner…but if I were, there would be many options…I do think that good people, like you are just not interested in trolling bars, and want to do something meaningful with your spare time…and like-minded good people think alike…
Good luck to you…I know there are good women out there…just like there are good men…and PLEASE don’t resort to being a loud, insecure jerk…the world already has WAY TOO MANY!
We hear about news of teachers sleeping with their students, whether older male teacher-younger female student or older female teacher – young male student, or teachers molesting their students (like in some Catholic Schools) or abusing their students.
Do you think all teachers should undergo psychological tests to weed out all those perverts and abusers out there?
No, but better security checks are in order./
Do you think it is because they are afraid or because they know they will only get anger management classes ,and they would rather not pursue it?
The abuse starts long before it becomes physical. The typical abuser begins by controlling their victim. They start by separating them from friends and family, and even getting them to quit their job. Once the victim becomes dependent on the abuser for social and financial reasons, then the physical abuse begins. It is then more difficult for the abuser to leave.
It is also common for abusers to destroy the victim’s self esteem, by making her think no one else will want her. They also blame the victim, claiming "you made me lose my temper" or "if you didn’t do that I wouldn’t have to hit you". They also blame outside factors like "I only did it because I was drunk".
My answer just scratches the surface, a complete answer could fill pages.
Much like the sex offender registry, do you think there should be a similar one of men and women who are prone to violent acts against spouses or children and why?
i am meaning one specific to domestic abuse charges and records.
I think they should do a 3 (or less) strike ruling then register
Mike Vick is as bad or worse. If you torture animals why stop at dogs?
that is the morality of the Obama age…
Mike Vick is as bad or worse. If you torture animals why stop at dogs?
that is the morality of the Obama age…