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" Imagine What Must It Be Like, To Be A Man

Imagine what must it be like to be a man in today’s society.

I want everyone to take the time to ponder that.

What must it be like to be a little boy? An innocent, sweet child….so full of love and joy. Of course, that love and joy must fade into insecurity and self hatred when you go to school and are treated differently because you’re a boy, when you’re expected to behave differently, better, toward the little girls while they’re allowed to treat you any way they choose and you must simply endure it because they are girls and you are a boy.

Imagine what it must be like to be a little boy who’s father, his hero, is made to leave the home when Mommy files for divorce. You know that your father is who you’re most like, the person you emulate and hope to grow up to be like…..the person Mommy has renamed *sshole, screams at on the phone and says horrible things about to her family and friends.

Imagine what it must be like to be that sweet, innocent boy and to be subjected to a constant stream of negative images and portrayals of men, knowing all the while that a man is precisely what you’ll grow up to be.

Imagine what it must be like to be a teenage boy. You go to high school and college and all you see and hear are rape statistics and how boys and men are dangerous predators. The father you sorely need has been alienated from you for many years. He tried and tried but Mom made things as difficult as possible and now your relationship is awkward at best.

Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. All you want is to find that special girl to fall in love with, to marry and to start a family with, but even though you are a nice guy and have always tried to be a good person, every girl you meet assumes the worst of you. You want to fall in love, but you become more and more jaded as every relationship you have is with someone who is shallow, selfish, materialistic and narcissistic.

Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. You enlisted in the military. You did your duty to your country and served with honor. You watched those with whom you served, men you’d come to view as brothers, return home in coffins and sometimes you can’t sleep at night because the things you bury away during the day come back to haunt you in your sleep. For your efforts, you have health problems that nobody cares about and hear that whatever happened to you and your brothers was your own fault….because you’re men and, afterall, it’s violent men who are the ones who start the wars.

Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You’ve given up on marriage, now that you’re older, even if you found someone you wanted to spend your life with, you don’t dare. You realize that the family court system is stacked against you and should your marriage not work out, you’ll risk losing everything. You’ve given up on your dream of family and children because you don’t want your son to ever go through what you went through. You’re not a coward, but you’ve decided to fore go the joys of fatherhood because you think it will be easier never knowing such love than to know it and have it ripped away from you. For your efforts of self-preservation you are called a loser, a perpetual child; there must be something wrong with you, it just isn’t normal…….

Or, perhaps, you did find that special someone and you decided it was worth the risk. You got married, you had children. You worked hard to provide the very best for your children. You wanted to spend as much time as possible with your family, but work requirements kept you away from home more than you liked. You told yourself it was o.k., a sacrifice you were willing to make in order to provide for your family. You wanted to give them all the things they told you they wanted and needed…..and then one day, your wife tells you she isn’t happy, you work too much, you’re always gone, you’re not taking care of her emotional needs. All too quickly divorce papers are filed and since, according to the judge, you were not very involved in raising the children, you are relegated to the status of non-custodial parent. You now come home to an empty apartment, no more do you hear cries of ‘Daddy’ when you walk through the door or get to tuck somebody in at night. You see your kids when your ex-wife allows, when it’s convenient for her and as long as you remain in her good graces.

Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You walk down the street, children avoid you and women watch you warily. Although the words are not vocalized, you can see the accusation written clearly in their eyes and on their faces…..rapist, pedophile, abuser. You know that all it takes is an allegation, a few words, and your life can be ruined, simply because you are a man.

Imagine must it be like to be a man…… "
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmlgoHgbH.MACUnL4E7Oxj7sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20081213035014AAomE8p

I know exactly whats its like to be a man,
very well said from your prospective. to hear a woman put it that way is truly touching. you obviously are close to someone how has gone through what many men have gone through.

very sad isn’t it

No i know this is not all men, and i understand the point ppl try to make by saying that women can get off with hitting a man..but is this still worse than a man raping a woman?

An estimated 91% of victims of rape are female, 9% are male and 99% of offenders are male. (Bureau of Justice Statistics 1999)

93% of women and 86% of men who were raped and/or physically assaulted since the age of 18 were assaulted by a male. (National Violence Against Women Survey, 1998)

Around the world at least 1 in 3 women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family. (John Hopkins School of Public Health 2000)
"Obviously have not noted or ignored the amount of male rape and female on male violence stats.."

u just subtract the amount of male on female rapes from 100..thats about 7 percent..a minority

a woman slapping a man after he calls her a slut is not really comparable to him calling her a slut, pushing her down on the ground, and forcing her into sex.
we should not hit anyone else, except in self defense.
if a woman slaps a man, he should not slap her, but if he did slap her with equal force, it’s her fault.
if a woman is hit by a man, she has a right to hit him in self defense.
NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE

This was posted,
"Of course I’ve heard it, it’s the excuse men use when they don’t feel like taking responsibility for their actions. Yes, children need their fathers. I mean look at the statistics on children who didn’t have fathers."

I do like how she said that men, as in all men.
Rather lovely.

And to me, I think dads are important in children’s lives,

So, this comes from the NOW’s agenda for 2009,
Link,
http://www.now.org/issues/agenda2009.html

Some bold lettering that I found.

1.) Increase Women’s Retirement Security
Women deserve more?

2.)Support Women-Owned Businesses,
"Increase the proportion of federal contracts awarded to women-owned businesses from 3.4 to 10 percent "

Talk about equal chance at work.

3.) Keep Women and Girls in the Picture
don’t need men

4.) Appoint Feminists to Key Positions
No thanks

5.) Ratify CEDAW (International Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women)
Why not include men?

6.) Expand HIV-AIDS Prevention and Treatment Programs for Women and Girls.
Bahh, men can die.

7.) Provide a path to citizenship that allows immigrant women to have work permits (as opposed to the current dependent visas that prohibit any work, keeping abused women effectively captive to their abusers)
This doesn’t to male immigrants?

Best one for last,
"End federal funding of untested marriage promotion programs and "fatherhood" programs that take funding away from the parent who is actually raising the children in need "

I understand protecting women. But excluding men from gender netural problems.
What good does that do?

Now, to be fair, after work tomorrow, this can be done for MRA’s just as much.

Point being, why exclude either gender? What good does that really do?

Can someone explain to me?
Fergi, if your going to act dumb, do it some place eles.

That is called extra commentary.
I even said, look at the bold print on the website.

But that is okay.
I don’t care if you agree with it. (shows who you are,)
I wanted to know, is that feminism, or selfishness?
Just another answer.

Hey I understand that you had a hard life.

But I find this amazing, your judging all men.

What about all the men who bust their a** off to be a good dad, and then
Be told all men are rapists.

What about the man who tries his best to provide for his family, only to have a baby of
Another color pop out of the mother?

What about single dads? Where is their respect?

Just as men walk away from kids, the same amount of women take kids away from dads.

You just slapped every good man in the face.

Think about it.

My point is, why don’t we help everybody.
I think that is a good idea.

Feminism or selfishness? Trick question… Feminism = selfishness.

NOW is the most sexist, bigoted, group of psycho b*tches that I know of. Obviously they aren’t concerned about equality. If we are to be equal, we must see past gender. But they only see women when it comes to granting new laws, protections, privileges, ect…

-1 in 3 teens is abused in a relationship.

-80% of them continue to date their abuser

-66% never report the abuse to anyone

-Only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about it

-Teen victims of dating violence are more likely to abuse drugs, have eating disorders, and attempt suicide

-One third of high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship

-Dating violence is the leading cause of injury to young women

-About 40% of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend

-Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence

This made me sick to my stomach! I guess my question is can you believe that the statistics are so high? And if you’d like to share any stories they are more than welcome.

Being a victim of dating abuse, verbal and physical, in the past and having heard my aunt’s story this is a subject that is very close to my heart. Another question is what can I do to help? Thanks for any input.
For more information…..

http://www.dosomething.org/whatsyourthing/Violence+and+Bullying/Dating+Abuse

That’s disgusting. Period.

Alright.. I have many good points on why Spousal Abuse is WRONG, you see but I’m not exactly sure how to create an outline. I was thinking that my introduction should be somewhere along the lines.. of maybe a flashback to a person’s wedding night, and how they thought it would be the begining of a Fairy Tale, but it turns out too be a nightmare.. How could I end that with a good topic statement? Also, I want some statistics, but would that work good on a chart that I could Make??

I want to have the types of Spousal Abuse, and the excuses the abuser uses to keep the Spouse at home.

Do you have any ideas at all????? Your help would be sooooo appreciated. =] Thanks!!!

While I can’t offer much in the line of technical advice, I would like to remind you not to forget one of the most devastating forms of abuse, of which either sex can be a victim. Infidelity can most definitely be considered as emotional abuse, because of the disrespect for the feelings of the injured spouse — both by the "cheater", & also by the court system. ~ How’s this for an introduction?: "The disillusionment & disappointment that can lead one spouse to think of itself as the "injured party", while through it’s frustration, making a victim of the other spouse, can be avoided at the outset of any relationship by honest, unabashed communication. When both parties make their expectations clear from the beginning, prior to entering ANY sort of contract, litigations (& in the case of marriage, broken dreams) can be rendered unnecessary."

" Imagine What Must It Be Like, To Be A Man

Imagine what must it be like to be a man in today’s society.

I want everyone to take the time to ponder that.

What must it be like to be a little boy? An innocent, sweet child….so full of love and joy. Of course, that love and joy must fade into insecurity and self hatred when you go to school and are treated differently because you’re a boy, when you’re expected to behave differently, better, toward the little girls while they’re allowed to treat you any way they choose and you must simply endure it because they are girls and you are a boy.

Imagine what it must be like to be a little boy who’s father, his hero, is made to leave the home when Mommy files for divorce. You know that your father is who you’re most like, the person you emulate and hope to grow up to be like…..the person Mommy has renamed *sshole, screams at on the phone and says horrible things about to her family and friends.

Imagine what it must be like to be that sweet, innocent boy and to be subjected to a constant stream of negative images and portrayals of men, knowing all the while that a man is precisely what you’ll grow up to be.

Imagine what it must be like to be a teenage boy. You go to high school and college and all you see and hear are rape statistics and how boys and men are dangerous predators. The father you sorely need has been alienated from you for many years. He tried and tried but Mom made things as difficult as possible and now your relationship is awkward at best.

Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. All you want is to find that special girl to fall in love with, to marry and to start a family with, but even though you are a nice guy and have always tried to be a good person, every girl you meet assumes the worst of you. You want to fall in love, but you become more and more jaded as every relationship you have is with someone who is shallow, selfish, materialistic and narcissistic.

Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. You enlisted in the military. You did your duty to your country and served with honor. You watched those with whom you served, men you’d come to view as brothers, return home in coffins and sometimes you can’t sleep at night because the things you bury away during the day come back to haunt you in your sleep. For your efforts, you have health problems that nobody cares about and hear that whatever happened to you and your brothers was your own fault….because you’re men and, afterall, it’s violent men who are the ones who start the wars.

Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You’ve given up on marriage, now that you’re older, even if you found someone you wanted to spend your life with, you don’t dare. You realize that the family court system is stacked against you and should your marriage not work out, you’ll risk losing everything. You’ve given up on your dream of family and children because you don’t want your son to ever go through what you went through. You’re not a coward, but you’ve decided to fore go the joys of fatherhood because you think it will be easier never knowing such love than to know it and have it ripped away from you. For your efforts of self-preservation you are called a loser, a perpetual child; there must be something wrong with you, it just isn’t normal…….

Or, perhaps, you did find that special someone and you decided it was worth the risk. You got married, you had children. You worked hard to provide the very best for your children. You wanted to spend as much time as possible with your family, but work requirements kept you away from home more than you liked. You told yourself it was o.k., a sacrifice you were willing to make in order to provide for your family. You wanted to give them all the things they told you they wanted and needed…..and then one day, your wife tells you she isn’t happy, you work too much, you’re always gone, you’re not taking care of her emotional needs. All too quickly divorce papers are filed and since, according to the judge, you were not very involved in raising the children, you are relegated to the status of non-custodial parent. You now come home to an empty apartment, no more do you hear cries of ‘Daddy’ when you walk through the door or get to tuck somebody in at night. You see your kids when your ex-wife allows, when it’s convenient for her and as long as you remain in her good graces.

Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You walk down the street, children avoid you and women watch you warily. Although the words are not vocalized, you can see the accusation written clearly in their eyes and on their faces…..rapist, pedophile, abuser. You know that all it takes is an allegation, a few words, and your life can be ruined, simply because you are a man.

Imagine must it be like to be a man…… "
I didn’t write it … I just wanted to share this ^_^

It’s from this married Christian woman’s website http://equalbutdifferent.blogspot.com/

I’m disgusted by the way the culture treats males and right now girls like me … I’m in college and it’s really hard because most love being feminists , I’m traditional and they just to whore around and then call or think that there is something wrong with being a virgin woman and love to mock religion as if it the epitome of evil -_-

Also I found this too http://my.opera.com/khankrumthebulgar/blog/show.dml/129036

I think that’s the confession of former feminist leaders I think
And then there’s this http://ozconservative.blogspot.com/2007/04/feminine-rebellions-viking-princess.html

Unfortunately, I think you are spot on. I feel exactly the same, how depressing.

Are you female? I know your avatar is, but some people do use different pics.
If you are female then i think thats superb how you can come up with that, i’m not so sure I could do the same for a female….

EDIT: I read both your lnks which were very good, and I also appreciate your thoughts on how men are treated, it’s really refreshing to hear so thanks!

I am a 20 year old alcoholic and drug abuser in recovery. I have been in rehab 3 times and taken several classes on chemical dependency and based on what statistics and what Ive learned, I still cant determine why my stomach sticks out the exact area of my liver and hurts when I touch it. This has been going on for a few weeks and Ive been told It is unlikely that I have any fatty liver tissue or damage. Im still not convinced. Are there any professionals who have heard of liver damage at this young an age.
btw my alcohol abuse stats are:
6 years of heavy drinking and drug use
1.75 liters hard alcohol per day
highest conscious BAC .45
and i forget the enzyme data

Who is telling you that it is unlikely you have liver damage? The rehab people? AA members? If so, then you are simply listening to people who don’t know what they are talking about.

Go to a doctor and get a complete physical including liver function tests and any other testing the doctor recommends.

Of course, you can have liver damage at your age with that chemical history…you were pretty hard core in your day, weren’t you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZvLEcwM-1M

In the video it is claimed that women should get custody because nature says that women should take care of children. Is that not sexist though. She asserts that if a man fights for custody it is because he is an abuser. She also asserts that if a man is the one who is the victim of DV then it is because they are gay. She uses statistics that defy many other statistics about female on male DV. I am especially interested in what the feminists here have to say about this.
Thank you Tracey for pointing that out to me. I surrender and consider myself your prisoner. Here are my testicles and my paycheck do as you will.

The best parent should get custody and the best interests of the child should be a primary focus rather than a battle between the mother and father that the child is trapped in.

Plenty of men raise children by themselves so they are more than capable. I think it is a long standing stereotype that women make better parents but I think that this will change more as society realises that both men and women can be good parents.

xxx
xx
x

can you believe these statistics

Around the world at least I women in 3 has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family
An estimated 91% of victims of rape are female, 9% are male and 99% of offenders are male.

77% of rapes are committed by someone known to the person raped.

According to the National Crime Victimization Survey there were an estimated 248,000 rapes and sexual assaults against victims over the age of 12 in the US in 2001.

According to the National Victim Center, 683,000 women are raped each year.

Only 2% of rapists are convicted and imprisoned.

Women of all ethnicities are raped: American Indian/Alaska Native women are most likely to report a rape and Asian/Pacific Islander the least likely.

dont be scared
just avoid going to parties alone

I rewrote this, some folks have a very bad ability to read,

I copied each segment, from my source.

Some bold lettering that I found.

Among a large group of feminists,

1.) Increase Women’s Retirement Security

2.)Support Women-Owned Businesses,
"Increase the proportion of federal contracts awarded to women-owned businesses from 3.4 to 10 percent "

3.) Keep Women and Girls in the Picture

4.) Appoint Feminists to Key Positions

5.) Ratify CEDAW (International Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women)

6.) Expand HIV-AIDS Prevention and Treatment Programs for Women and Girls.

7.) Provide a path to citizenship that allows immigrant women to have work permits (as opposed to the current dependent visas that prohibit any work, keeping abused women effectively captive to their abusers)

Best one for last,
"End federal funding of untested marriage promotion programs and "fatherhood" programs that take funding away from the parent who is actually raising the children in need "

This was posted,
"Of course I’ve heard it, it’s the excuse men use when they don’t feel like taking responsibility for their actions. Yes, children need their fathers. I mean look at the statistics on children who didn’t have fathers."

You can comment

I understand protecting women. But excluding men from gender netural problems.
What good does that do?

Now, to be fair, this can be done for MRA’s just as much.

Point being, why exclude either gender? What good does that really do?

Can someone explain to me?

Oh and sources,
Just one,

http://www.now.org/issues/agenda2009.html
Just another answer,
Just because a few men are rich, doesn’t mean that you can punish all men.
If your answer is that it is okay to be sexist towards men to get "even"
So be it

I cannot explain it. These goals are off the deep end, seriously. By all means make any person’s retirement funding more stable. Please get more AIDS funding, for everybody, it seems like we have forgotten this serious disease that kills some of our brightest, most talented citizens. By all means support privately owned businesses for anyone, for crying out loud our economy is going to shit because of the big corporations.

Keep women and girls in the picture, oh please like we are going to just fade away without feminism coming to our rescue.

Appoint feminists to key positions, please spare the worl that indignity, please!

Quit worrying about making even more stupid, worthless laws to "protect" people who don’t need to be protected.

And could we please get the current immigration laws working before we add new ones, for women or anyone else. I happen to live in an area that has so many illegal aliens working that it is effecting the ability of citizens to get jobs!

"taking funding away from the parent who is actually raising the child in need" Give me a freaking break. Try staying married to the father or not having children with a transient partner and this one will be less of a worry. Better yet, give the fathers joint custody so they can help raise theit own children. Fund more education for young males, give them their pride of place back, fund a few more Million Man Marches to raise consciousness. Quit acting like these fathers are the enemy.