AbusersAnon.com – A help centre for domestic abusers

Government of Canada Statistics (Juristat, 2008)
Spousal violence in Canada’s provinces and territories
• In 2006, over 38,000 incidents of spousal violence were reported to police across Canada. This represents approximately
15% of all police-reported violent incidents.
• There has been a steady decline in police-reported spousal violence over the most recent 9-year period (1998 to
2006).
• As a proportion of all violent incidents, spousal violence reported to police was more prevalent in Nunavut and Quebec
(20% each), and lowest in British Columbia, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick (8% each).
• Females continue to be the most likely victims of police-reported spousal violence, accounting for 83% of victims
compared to 17% males. This holds true for every province and territory across Canada.
• Incidents of spousal violence were more common between current partners than former partners (69% vs. 31%).
• Common assault (61%) was the most frequently reported violent offence committed by a current or ex-spouse, followed
by major assault (14%), uttering threats (11%) and criminal harassment (8%). Assaults accounted for a large proportion
of spousal violence in the western provinces and territories, while criminal harassment and uttering threats were most
prevalent in Quebec.
• Male victims of spousal abuse were nearly twice as likely as female victims to report incidents of major assault (23% of
male victims vs. 13% of female victims). One possible explanation may be that while male spousal abusers are more
likely to use physical force, female abusers tend to rely on weapons.
• Charges were laid by police in three-quarters (77%) of all police-reported incidents of spousal violence in 2006. Incidents
involving female victims were more likely to result in a charge being laid than those involving male victims. The percentage
of spousal violence incidents that have resulted in police charging has remained fairly stable over the 9-year period
from 1998 to 2006. Police charging for spousal abuse was highest in Manitoba (92%) and Ontario (90%), and lowest
in Newfoundland and Labrador (56%) and New Brunswick (57%).
• Injuries were more likely to be sustained by current spouses than former spouses (59% vs. 27%), as well as by victims
living in the territories and western provinces. Injuries resulting from the use of a weapon (7%), though not common,
were more likely among male victims than females (15% vs. 5%), and more likely among victims of spousal abuse living
in Manitoba (13%) and Saskatchewan (10%).
Women reported their violent victimization to police in 26% of
incidents, compared to 38% of incidents involving men. The
lower rate of reporting for women may be driven, in part, by the
fact that women were more often than men the victim of sexual
assault, which is the offence most likely to go unreported.

1)
Because some women refuse to report the crime, preferring to hide their scars and bruises,
and,
2)
Because a high proportion of men ("real men"?) would rather remain ignorant of the facts, preferring instead to blame feminism for everything that has ever gone wrong in their lives.
2)
Too many people turn a blind eye to what is going on in their neighborhood, environment or family.
4)
Too few of society ever actually come into contact with the realities of life within our ‘civilized community’.

She was 14 when her mother smuggled her into Los Angeles. She met her future husband, a legal resident, two years later.

A Guatemalan immigrant now has legal United States residency after helping the authorities prosecute her husband for abuse. She asked that her identity be withheld for fear of retaliation.
Bay Area Report

He had all the cards, and played them cruelly, as she recalls. He would not let her go to school or work, dragged his feet on supporting her citizenship request, and called her fat and ugly after she became pregnant.

She endured it all — until she caught him romancing a 13-year-old girl from their church choir. When she complained, he beat her bloody, tried to rape her, and fled, with the girl, to Arizona, she said in an affidavit that is now part of federal immigration records.

Today, he is in prison, and she is caring for her children in San Francisco, with a driver’s license and a legal job baby-sitting. Her legal status came about through what is known as a U visa — a humanitarian “island of niceness,” as one advocate called it, in a sea of restrictive United States immigration laws.

Victims of domestic violence are often deeply reluctant to press charges, fearing retaliation or simply hoping their abusers will change. The risk of deportation only escalates the aversion to go to the police. That is a main reason that Congress passed legislation in 2000, creating the U visa. It allows immigrants who have endured substantial mental or physical abuse and who cooperate with law enforcement officials to work legally and stay in the United States for up to four years while applying for permanent residence.

After nearly a decade of delays, federal officials began allowing the visas en masse only early last year, after sustained efforts from immigrant rights groups, particularly several based in Oakland and San Francisco. The pace of approvals has since stepped up, as has the controversy, with both defense lawyers and groups opposed to immigration contending that the process invites scams.

More on this here

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/08/us/08sfimmigrant.html

Here is another story about prison abuse

Sexual Abuse by Prison and Jail Staff Proves Persistent, Pandemic

by Gary Hunter

Sexual assault, rape, indecency, deviance. These terms represent reprehensible behavior in our society. They also represent recurring themes in our nation’s prisons – not only by prisoners, but also by guards and other staff members.

PLN’s August 2006 cover story, Guards Rape of Prisoners Rampant, No Solution in Sight, profiled examples of sexual abuse by prison guards and other employees in 26 states. Since that time the National Prison Rape Elimination Commission has issued proposed standards to reduce sexual abuse behind bars, and the Bureau of Justice Statistics has released reports on sexual victimization in our nation’s prisons and jails. The latter reports found that over 60% of allegations of sexual abuse involved staff members rather than other prisoners.

What has not changed in the past several years is the continued rape and sexual exploitation of prisoners by prison and jail employees who are supposed to ensure their safety. All 50 states have enacted laws criminalizing sex between prisoners and prison staff; thus, employees who engage in sexual misconduct can no longer claim consent as a defense.

Due to the nature of prisons as “total institutions,” it is impossible for prisoners to voluntarily consent to sexual advances by staff members who exert complete control over their lives – and in some cases over their release from prison.

https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/21225_displayArticle.aspx

Now do you think its fair for one group who breaks the law to get a reward?

Meanwhile another group who also breaks the law. Is being told that they are getting what they deserve in jail!

Can anyone see a problem here? If so please tell me why one group should get a reward while another group is told that its their own fault.
Drbne no one is advocating the release of a child molester.

This child molester was already engaged in illegal activity when he was aiding and abetting an illegal activity.

What I want to prove here is that supporters of illegal aliens are themselves criminals. Just like a serial killer is engaged in more then one illegal activity.

If this lady from Guatemala wanted to she could have grabbed her kids and ran.

She only reported him since he broke up with her. She cared nothing for the child that was being molested.

You need to stop making stuff up to support illegal activity.
Another thing is that we do not know if the child molester was an illegal alien himself. That was of course left out by the media.

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=50441

So I am willing to bet the child molester was an illegal alien himself.

Illegal is illegal. She needs to go back to Guatemala. It’s nice if we could let everyone live in the U.S. that would like to do so. That would mean about 90% of the world would move here. Sorry. Illegal is illegal.

i am being abused by someone, verbally and physically. they also control me. i am a young woman in my 20s. what are the chances of an abuser murdering someone and why do they do it. will my abuser kill me? i am worried . but how worried should i be?
what makes them kill people and what are the statistics. i got beaten very hard with objects by this person
also why do abusers abuse people. my abuser always torments me and makes sure im not feeling well and that im sad and in danger,. they make sure to put me in danger. they laugh at me

what do they get out of this, whats their purpose?

First thing you need to do. Is get away from that person asap. You don’t want to risk ending up dead because that person bet you till death. I was in a Domestic Violence relationship. He would get very aggressive when I would tell him I was going to leave him and he would say if I leave him he was going to kill me. He did not care. Once he was on a drug mode and he pointed a gun to my head. I was very scared and as soon as he was doing something I ran risking my life he was going to kill me. I called the cops and got him arrested. I stood away from him but he kept making me week and asking me to go back. He never changed. One day he tried to hit me and I fought back. I showed him I was not afraid and to make a long story short, I divorced him 2 yrs 1/2 ago and I have a restraining order on him now that I have my life together he is trying to mess with me. Those people would not change. If he did not change in 1 month then he will never change I am adding a web for you to report domestic Violence because most people don’t admit they are going through it. But you have to think for yourself and talk to a relative or a close friend and ask for help because you really need it.

For example, Harriet Harman – the most powerful & influential feminist in the British Government – has pushed for a school education of five-year old children to reflect the misrepresentation that only girls are victims of violence and only boys are abusers.

We now from current and past statistics that abuse hits men at a rate of one in six while it hits women at a rate of one in four (this doesn’t account unreported abuses, and let’s be realistic – women DO tend to report more than men, so the real figures might well be a lot closer than the statistics indicate).

So why are male victims being blatantly ignored?

It’s all very well pretending feminism doesn’t promote hate & misinformation – but here we see it clearly, undeniably IS.

If it wasn’t – it would, like it pretends to be so concerned about, take a gender neutral approach to violence and victims and aggressors. At the very least it should include the facts that men don’t report so often and that one in four men will be the recipient of abuse too.

Yet this is being ignored.

Why?

And why are feminists with power systematically allowed to get away with abusing their positions?

I really don’t know why this attitude prevails in our supposedly intellectual society. I’m ashamed of my country and my entire western culture.

Another stat for you:
50.3% of domestic violence cases are initiated by women – that is, they hit the man first. Obviously if the man retaliated, being stronger more damage will be done. Also, like you said, men are less inclined to report than women, so the real figure could be higher.

I can only long for a society where I don’t have to feel under-privileged and like a second class citizen, where the problem is invisible to mainstream society and politicians. In school, boys look across at their female colleagues and they will know that the simple fact that she is female gives her an unfair advantage in our current system over him, that she is considered more honest, loyal, hard working and generally better all around than he is. This will obviously drive him to misbehaviour out of resentment at society as a whole.

A vicious downward spiral.

of abuse within the Catholic Church. I am reading two types of answer. One is the fact of other abuse cases and who is responsible ….ie statistical information regarding carers, teachers etc. Some are pointing out that it is only a small proportion of Catholic clergy who abused and the last kind of answer is the hate the Catholic Church.

Let’s focus for a moment on the reports that have come out over the last few months and not make trite comments about numbers. What do you feel about the legal system not pursuing the abusers and bringing to justice.? Would we be sanguine in the case of war criminals.

I put the argument having come through the system as a child that for every abuse documented there are treble the number who were abused in some way or another.

My point here is that no one so far that I can see has addressed the following problems

1. The abuse occurred and left many damaged and stole childhoods.
2. Other members of the church at the time knew and did nothing to protect the victims.
3. Rome was involved in the cover up at the time.
4. Financially the Church has not paid out much in real terms and the government in Ireland will foot the larger part of the bill. They too are culpable.
5. One person even mentioned false claims….perhaps so but to use this as an argument for those who are genuine not to receive justice is wrong. In every hideous situation there are opportunists.
6. Lack of prosecutions of the perpetrators.

Now these are all pertinent to the Catholic Church and the victims. It is too easy to drift off and generalize with numbers and statistics. But to me one childhood lost and in a perverse way condoned at a high level of the church is wrong.

I will be bawled out no doubt by loyal members of teh church but I care not becasue I see first hand on a daily basis the legacy left.

I completely agree with you. I think this shows that the dominant sector of the Church hierarchy is much more concerned with credibility and power than with truth and justice.

wtf?!! I had documented police records of harrasing, not leaving my house, he is an alcoholic and drug abuser with a prior stalking and domestic violence order against him. we dated a year. i filed and temp was approved. in court he had atty, i did not but I had a voice mail from him threatening to make my life a living hell, swearing and saying he would within the bounds of the law of course not harm me physically, but he would make me beg him to stop, wish I was dead and pick off my friends and family one by one – I played this in court…. his atty basically said the last known violence was more than 6 months ago, that his vm was non threatening and he only was contacting me to see my kids which he bonded with. The judge denied my petition. basically did not even look at my evidence – I felt helpless. I even asked her what is a woman to do to protect herself? Its like the judge protected him.. but she did tell him ‘this relationship is over, so you really do not have any reason to contact her or write about her (oh he also blogs about me and defames me because I will not return his calls or emails).. this has been going on over 7 months!! Why would I be denied… it was clear this guy is imbalanced! Can I do anything about it now? also, after court, he blogged about me again and today he tried calling me – but no message this time and from another number. I do not want to be a statistic, I am a mother of young kids! My ex husband wants to beat thisn guy up – but of course hed be arrested right? I am so frustrated and feel so betrayed by a legal system that should be protecting me. I did everything right and defended myself, proved my case (well, not to the judge apparently)… if I fight back, I am in trouble, right? But he basically just got permission to do whatever he wants with no legal recourse on my part and he KNOWS this. I am terrified he is going to do something now because he left court all cocky and has had no consequence for his ongoing harrasment… any advice?

Basically the judge heard what you had to say and didn’t buy it. You can always try again in the future. Like the other poster said, just start a journal and keep calling the cops when this guy harasses you. Stay away from him. I know, not the answer you want, but its the reality of the situation.

For example, they talk about men walking out on children – and ignore that many women throw a man out of the children’s lives, and ignore the women who walk out on the children.

They talk about d/v as if only men abuse women – ignoring the sheer volume of statistics which show d/v about 50/50. They also ignore child abuse, aside from the minority of men who abuse children.

They don’t talk about female paedophiles – aside from positively (see the Vagina Monologues in which an adult woman rapes a minor. The chapter is called ‘The Good Rape’).

They talk about financial abuse, with the man painted as the abuser of course, but ignore women who do it to men (e.g. while in USA, I was once given a $5 and even that she complained about)…

They talk about the ‘glass ceiling’ but ignore the lace curtain and maternal gatekeeping.

Etc. etc.

How is this mentality even remotely close to ‘equality’?

Feminists are only interested in pursuing their own propaganda and that means they have to demonstrate to the Federal Government that women are victims and men are only ever abusers, that is worth millions if not billions in government subsidies,
They are indifferent to the truth as the truth would reduce their income and their wages. Why not promulgate their lying doctrine to ensure that their funds will continue to flow.

Most feminist elites live to ensure their $100,000 plus per year income is guaranteed by manufacturing false information as their livelihood depends on it..

wtf?!! I had documented police records of harrasing, not leaving my house, he is an alcoholic and drug abuser with a prior stalking and domestic violence order against him. we dated a year. i filed and temp was approved. in court he had atty, i did not but I had a voice mail from him threatening to make my life a living hell, swearing and saying he would within the bounds of the law of course not harm me physically, but he would make me beg him to stop, wish I was dead and pick off my friends and family one by one – I played this in court…. his atty basically said the last known violence was more than 6 months ago, that his vm was non threatening and he only was contacting me to see my kids which he bonded with. The judge denied my petition. basically did not even look at my evidence – I felt helpless. I even asked her what is a woman to do to protect herself? Its like the judge protected him.. but she did tell him ‘this relationship is over, so you really do not have any reason to contact her or write about her (oh he also blogs about me and defames me because I will not return his calls or emails).. this has been going on over 7 months!! Why would I be denied… it was clear this guy is imbalanced! Can I do anything about it now? also, after court, he blogged about me again and today he tried calling me – but no message this time and from another number. I do not want to be a statistic, I am a mother of young kids! My ex husband wants to beat thisn guy up – but of course hed be arrested right? I am so frustrated and feel so betrayed by a legal system that should be protecting me. I did everything right and defended myself, proved my case (well, not to the judge apparently)… if I fight back, I am in trouble, right? But he basically just got permission to do whatever he wants with no legal recourse on my part and he KNOWS this. I am terrified he is going to do something now because he left court all cocky and has had no consequence for his ongoing harrasment… any advice?

Basically the judge heard what you had to say and didn’t buy it. You can always try again in the future. Like the other poster said, just start a journal and keep calling the cops when this guy harasses you. Stay away from him. I know, not the answer you want, but its the reality of the situation.

Alright.. I have many good points on why Spousal Abuse is WRONG, you see but I’m not exactly sure how to create an outline. I was thinking that my introduction should be somewhere along the lines.. of maybe a flashback to a person’s wedding night, and how they thought it would be the begining of a Fairy Tale, but it turns out too be a nightmare.. How could I end that with a good topic statement? Also, I want some statistics, but would that work good on a chart that I could Make??

I want to have the types of Spousal Abuse, and the excuses the abuser uses to keep the Spouse at home.

Do you have any ideas at all????? Your help would be sooooo appreciated. =] Thanks!!!

As far as stats go you could possibly ask a local women’s shelter or even doctors or perhaps online. That me tell you as a victim of both physical, emotional & verbal abuse the abuse generally starts out small & gradually intesifies. My ex husband proclaimed to be a christian, but I knew he had a temper. It started out for the first 12 years of my marriage as nothing but emotional & verbal abuse. They do this by alot of control. After that point he started throwing things at me then went to pushing then into slapping, kicking, punching. My oldest son called the police on him & he was arrested and stopped the physical but the verbal abuse became so bad that it hurt worse then the physical. I do not now why my mind set & so many women in my shoes is to protect the man that is hurting them. However what keeps women with the men are many, 1st they cut you down so bad with words making you feel you can not do better then them, that are men are like this or better yet worse, everything becomese your fault, they tell you that you can not make it alone and no one wants a woman with kids. In my case it was also financial lawyers cost an arm & a leg for a divorce & with 3 kids 2 special needs I did not want to drag my kids to a shelter. I do not think the abuser uses excuses it is just the verbal abuse that makes you feel bad about yourself. It also does not just happen to lower income or less educated people. I have bachelors degree & was a cpa before I chose to stay home with my kids. I eventually got help from a neighbor who knew a lawyer. It was very rough no income for first several months, but 2 years later am very happy & doing well.
I hope this gives a little insight, because my story is like many others. Hope your paper goes well.

Diego Armando Maradona and Edson Arantes do Nascimento (Pele) are known to be the greatest soccer players of all time but there has always been a heated debate on who was the better player. I will touch on the different aspects of both players and let you decide for yourself.

Throughout his professional career, Pele won many trophies and medals, which included three World Cups, two South American club championships, two world club championships, and ten Brazil club titles. Pele scored 560 goals in 578 games playing for Brazil, Santos, New York Cosmos. If you want to include his statistics for exhibitions and other non-professional matches it is claimed that Pele has scored as many as 1281 goals in 1363 games. During Maradona’s professional career he won only one World Cup, one Argentina club title, and two Italy club titles. During this time he scored 345 goals in 681 games playing for Argentina, Argentinos Juniors, Boca Juniors, Newell’s Old Boys, Barcelona, Napoli, and Sevilla.

Though Pele scored more goals than Maradona, many of them were against considerably weaker opponents where as Maradona scored most of his goals in European leagues against stronger opponents. Despite that, Pele still managed to be accomplish an amazing feat by scoring 77 goals in 92 games with Brazil (12 in World Cups) compared to Maradona’s 34 goals in 91 games with Argentina (8 in World Cups).

When Pele played for Brazil in the 1970 World Cup it was considered he was on the greatest football team of all time playing with the likes of Jairzinho, Tostao, and Carlos Alberto. Brazil could have probably won this World Cup without Pele. Maradona played for mediocre teams such as Napoli and Argentina where he was the only great player on the team and still managed to win 2 club titles and a World Cup with them. I would consider Maradona a MVP because of the individual impact he had on the teams he played for. If Pele played for Argentina in 1986, would they have won the World Cup?

I also feel that if Maradona had not become a drug abuser he would have become a much better player, which Maradona personally admitted. His cocaine addiction became a problem in the early 1990’s, lowering his playing ability and eventually kept him out for most of the 1994 World Cup. If Maradona didn’t involved with drugs he might have been unanimously considered as the greatest soccer player of all time.

One important thing to take note of is that when Pele burst onto the soccer scene in 1956 he showed the skill, technique, power, and accuracy that had never seen before. Pele quickly became a legend in the sport. Everyone wanted to see him play and soccer became increasingly popular as a result in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Maybe if there was no Pele there wouldn’t have been Maradona or any of the other fantastic players we have today.

Now I have left the decision up to you – Pele or Maradona?

pele is da best