like do they feel bad after a while or does their anger continue?
well, after verbally abusing someone, they could feel some sort of discomfort because of the fact that they just hurt um1s feelings,
but they could also feel relieved because yelling is also a way of releasing your anger…
so they probably no longer feel angry afterwards
Although I am no longer allowing myself to be abused, I am also not able to confront some of the individuals who did me harm in the first decades of my life. What are some strategies for dealing with the anger that I feel at these individuals who I cannot confront? I would appreciate the perspective of anyone interested in psychology, as well as those who have likewise been victims themselves.
This abuse occurred in the past; I am now 51 years old, but am still affected, both by the things which were done to me, and by my own anger. It is my anger that I want to defuse and put to rest as much as possible, so that it will no longer have so great an impact on my life.
When I say that I am not able to confront my abusers, I mean they cannot be confronted because they are deceased, or that I do not know where they are and have no means to confront them – not that I am personally incapable of confronting them.
I was neglected as a child, abused as an adult. The only way I got over these conflicts in my life was by FORGIVENESS. That may seem strange to you, but your anger towards people are only holding them to you. They don’t suffer for what they’ve done, but you have placed on yourself MORE suffering by not forgiving them.
Write them a letter, tell them how you feel, rip it up and burn it…don’t send it to them. Forgive them in your heart, it will free you to go on with your life without them. Don’t confront them, they will deny it and make your anger worse.
They abused you, now you are abusing yourself. Let it go. (and if you are religious, pray and give them and your anger towards them to God to handle, He will!)
Actually, we do quite a bit to try to change the behavior of abusers. The best programs are Batterer Intervention and Prevention Programs (BIPP). You can find more information about these in Texas here http://www.tcfv.org/support-to-service-providers/battering-intervention-and-prevention/
It does actually make sense to target batterers– they’re the ones most likely to continue their behavior (i.e. research shows that relationship abuse follows batterers into their next relationships much more frequently than it follows the abuses into their next relationship).
But, I imagine this isn’t what you mean…
How come they just don’t leave the situation there in?
Sometimes they think they are in love with them still when in fact they are addicted to the person so, what do u do with an addiction…
Im writing a story of an abused dog, and i was just wondering if they will be put down if it attacks the person that abused it. Its not the dogs fault.
thats so unfair. Why should the dog be killed when they dint do anything?!
it would be up to the person that it bit whether to put the dog down or not.
you could always make the abuser poor so that they don’t have the money to put the dog down.
or make the dog run away before they could take it to be put down.
just a few suggestions 
This makes it difficult to report and instead of others helping the person to report, they start to wonder if they were abused.
I’m not talking about a one time thing but if the person is continually abused over a long period of time. See what I mean people don’t realize this and are quick to judge, though I guess it is understandable.
I would think that it’s a form of Stockholm Syndrome, where the hostage begins to sympathize with their captor after being held captive for a long enough period of time.
After a certain amount of abuse, the victim will understand his need for satiation of his sexual urges, and have a desire to fulfill their need. I guess it’s sort of a perverse way of falling in love.
hell no. my fiance went through hell and back when she was growing up and she is NOT like that. she was mentally and physically abused plus being passed from foster home to foster home and being raped alot. her outer shell is tough and rough and hard-lived but her inner core is the caring, big hearted, and strong-willed. she loves me and will love our 30 kids(she wants to adopt alot maybe not that many. its exagerated but yeah im alittle nervous.) all the same and we will spoil the little brats like no other. a big house and lots of kids and animals. thats her dream. and im going to help give her everything shes ever wanted. XD XD
there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of physical abuse… example a good spanking, pulling there arm or a tap on the back of there head…. Im born and raised European…. and the kids that grow up turn out much much MUCH better then the kids who got sent to there room or get grounded for a week… and the kids turn out to be abusers also is because they no it works in the long run
there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of physical abuse… example a good spanking, pulling there arm or a tap on the back of there head…. Im born and raised European…. and the kids that grow up turn out much much MUCH better then the kids who got sent to there room or get grounded for a week… and the kids turn out to be abusers also is because they no it works in the long run
Shouldn’t they go to prison for that?? I thought taking the law into your own hands was illegal.
Self defense is a right you have. It is not wrong to protect yourself how ever you have to do it.
That is not taking the law into your own hands. You are fending off a criminal.
You have a perfect right to smack any abuser right between the eyes..and don’t feel quilty about it..that is how you treat bullies. Teach them a lesson they can’t forget.