Is it true that most likely if you are abused, then you will become an abuser?
October 31, 2009 - 6:50 pm
I want to know if it is true that like if your parents are racist then you will be racist, if you are malested then you will become a malester. Is all of this true. what is this process called. Is it the family cycle?
my parents are very closed minded people when it comes to minority groups… i am in no way like that. when it comes to people that have been abused… i guess it’s possible.. but some people could have had a great childhood and still be abusers… a lot of different factors come into it…
November 1st, 2009 at 12:24 am
Nothing in psychology is always true all of the time. Yes, if you grew up exposed to racist ideals, you’d probably be a racist.
But there comes a time in every kid’s life where he splits from his parents, goes off and sees the world, and decides what’s right for himself. If a kid was raised to hate black people, but then goes off into the world and sees that black people aren’t all that bad, he’ll change.
As for molesters…if a child is molested by his parents, he’ll probably turn out to be insecure or deceitful if he doesn’t properly cope with it. Unlikely he’ll molest someone himself, though. Or, if he does, it would be because he wanted to, not because he was molested as a child. But again, nothing in psychology is true all of the time. There’s probably some molesters out there who do so because they were molested as a child.
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November 1st, 2009 at 1:03 am
Negative. Totally False.
If your parents are racist, you mostly likely to disagree with them. Not only because we are rebellious, but because we live in a different time.
Parents do shape how we grow up to be. But ultimately we grow to the level of maturity to make out own choices. Choice.
This analogy I hear often and is totally false, the apple don’t fall to far from the tree. True, because the apple has no will and only can be controlled by exterior forces. However this analogy cannot be implied oh Humans, because we have Free Will. Choice.
When you get molested as a child, it may bring some psychological side effects in the future. Does it make you prone to abusing others. Nope, if anything it makes you more likely not too.
It goes down to who’s to blame? We can blame anyone, but if you want to break the cycle, you take away the blame and all of the pain attached to it.
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November 1st, 2009 at 1:51 am
no
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November 1st, 2009 at 2:35 am
It’s true that a majority of abusers have been victims of abuse themselves, however it’s important to understand that a majority of abused people do not become abusers. Abusers usually have a number of vicitims, if all abused become abusers we would end up in a world when everyone abused everyone, which clearly isn’t the case. Everyone has free will and all abusers make a conscious decision to do what they do, but a majority of abuse victims chose to respect people.
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November 1st, 2009 at 3:11 am
You are what you are taught. If the only example you have is abuse then you will most likely be an abuser.
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November 1st, 2009 at 3:30 am
my parents are very closed minded people when it comes to minority groups… i am in no way like that. when it comes to people that have been abused… i guess it’s possible.. but some people could have had a great childhood and still be abusers… a lot of different factors come into it…
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November 1st, 2009 at 3:35 am
While being raised a certain way does affect you and can stick with you emotionally, I think whether you follow the negative character traits is a choice. As an adult, people should be able to look at how being abused affected them emotionally & spiritually then choose not to do that to their children. Even if they have a hard time controlling it, they have to be aware of what’s going on & could opt to get counseling to stop. If your parents were racist, you heard negative comments & jokes your entire youth, but it’s a personal choice whether to rpeat those remarks or jokes. Many times I think people use the fact that "that’s how I was raised" as an excuse to just not try a bit harder to be a better parent than you had. Children are worth the efforet to change.
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