AbusersAnon.com – A help centre for domestic abusers

My boyfriend is an emotional abuser. In the past 2 years he has ignored me(and my feelings), I would touch him sometimes with no response, when I speak he would wrinkle up his nose and have disgust in his voice, he yells alot over things such as the laundry not done quite like he likes, i’ve seen road rage, and just recently i looked in computer history and he had made a new e-mail address that I wasn’t aware of. I confronted him, he lied. I made him open it in front of me, nothing there, but I’m sure he was PLANNING on using for something…….Now he is being really nice(a different person) for like the past 2 weeks). Can someone like this change without professional help??

No, this is part of the emotional abuse. An expert emotional abuser will do things like this to keep you hanging on in there. Here’s a good example: think of the kid who never gets anything from their parents. Then on Christmas Day, they see a huge box with their name on it under the tree and get excited (therefore happy). As they unwrap, they discover more and more boxes (kind of like Russian dolls) until they unwrap the last one. Inside, they find a lump of coal.

Emotional abusers do a more complex version of this. They get your hopes up to keep you interested, and then come right back with the bad old days just when you’ve been weakened by their "good side". It also provides you with a false sense of hope because you forever wait for that "golden moment" when they showed that they are in fact, a caring human being. It makes you forget that the majority of their treatment of you consists of sadness and pain. I would watch out. To sound less depressing, *sometimes* people do change, but this is extremely rare. However, because of this slight possibiity, I would wait and see what happens next, and take full advantage of this nice period while you still can. If he should turn back to how he was before, leave him before you lose yourself in this relationship!

Do you know what GMRS stands for? If you are like I was, then you probably do not. GMRS stands for General Mobile Radio Service. It is a land-mobile radio service based out of the United States that is intended to be used in two way radio communications.
You can sort of look at GMRS radio devices to be in comparison to the childhood walkie talkies that I’m sure we all at one time possessed. They have much better capabilities and some of them operate over a 20 mile range due to the radio frequencies used to transmit communications. They range in price from 20 dollars to up to well over 100 dollars for higher end models.

One great way among the various yeast infection cures out there will be consuming electrolyte-heavy beverages. To make your, squash in half a lemon (filled with crucial minerals) into a cup of filtered water, then add 1/4 teaspoon with Celtic sea salt (with eighty four minerals). Ingest this 6 instances during the day, in 3 of those 6 instances during breakfast , lunch or dinner.

Cleansing the digestive tract naturally washes out the toxins built through a yeast infection and also creates the digestive system receptive towards favorable bacterias. Recipes may possibly be different, however they usually include a mixture of garlic or even garlic oil, cayenne peppers, apple cider or apple cider vinegar, and the spicy oregano oil.

Be aware that you will find plenty female as well as male yeast infection cures on the market which have become verified to work time and again. Carry out a research, then you could find out a single one which works most effective for you.

The obvious advantage of the smokeless cigarette is the health benefit. Did you know that electronic cigarettes contain only a handful of ingredients and none of the 22 carcinogens found in tobacco cigarettes?

Another benefit that you may not see so ware of is the cost benefit.

Smokeless cigarettes can cost anyway from 50% to 75% cheaper than traditional cigarettes.

So in additional to potentially saving your life, you are also saving money in the process.

Now you could used those saved funds and apply them toward more smokeless cigarette cartridges, but here’s another thought. Why not apply those savings toward a gym membership or The Farmers Market? The point is, why not continue on the road to healthier living?

I work for a non-profit agency that works with people of all ages and abilities. We are trying to raise money for a state of the art facility for a preschool, k-12 school, 4 adult day habilitation programs, children’s case management, developmental therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and a greenhouse work program for adults, as well as community gardens, and a handicap accessible playground for the community. To better our community by increasing the abilities of the most disabled people in our community so they contribute to the community (and have an income), and provide a play/picnic area for all families and children of all abilities.
I am wondering what people donate to and why. It seems that there are many programs (grants and private trusts) to assist in things like animal shelters, and parks and things like that that are not such a high priority need for most communities. So why support these programs over programs that assist our community on a larger scale. Everyone knows someone who is an alcoholic/drug abuser, developmentally disabled, physically disabled, abused, raped, or has children in public programming and or activities, so why do chose to donate elsewhere?

First of all, who are you to say that animal shelters & parks are not as worthy/needy of funding as your program?

People donate to non-profits that directly effect their own lives. I donate $$ to my local community radio station. It might not seem like priority to you, but it is to me b/c I listen to that station everyday & my life would be empty without it. I also donate my time to Big Brothers Big Sisters, because it’s an established, well-known organization and I am directly involved in the life of my Little Sister.

Perhaps you need to publicize your organization more. Issue press releases about the work that you’re doing, start a direct mail campaign, have regular events (bake sales, car washes, concerts) to get the word out. The more people know about your charity, the more willing they will be to donate to it.

Remember – there are *tons* of worthy charities out there in need of funding. We can’t give to all of them – it’s just impossible. We do what we can afford, so we choose the ones that matter most to us. Don’t take it so personally that *everyone* isn’t contributing to yours. We have different values.

CHAPTER 123. MENTAL HEALTH

Chapter 123: Section 35. Commitment of alcoholics or substance abusers

I know this exists in Massechusetts, but I am wondering if there is such a law like this that exists in california?

I know of no similar law in California. California permits the involuntary commitment only of those who have mental illness which results in their being dangerous or gravely disabled (which means unable to obtain the necessities of life; food, clothing, shelter). In some cases, those with communicable illnesses who will not follow a treatment regimen can be involuntarily committed as well. But I know of nothing which would permit the commitment of a person just for being an alcoholic or drug addict.

Government of Canada Statistics (Juristat, 2008)
Spousal violence in Canada’s provinces and territories
• In 2006, over 38,000 incidents of spousal violence were reported to police across Canada. This represents approximately
15% of all police-reported violent incidents.
• There has been a steady decline in police-reported spousal violence over the most recent 9-year period (1998 to
2006).
• As a proportion of all violent incidents, spousal violence reported to police was more prevalent in Nunavut and Quebec
(20% each), and lowest in British Columbia, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick (8% each).
• Females continue to be the most likely victims of police-reported spousal violence, accounting for 83% of victims
compared to 17% males. This holds true for every province and territory across Canada.
• Incidents of spousal violence were more common between current partners than former partners (69% vs. 31%).
• Common assault (61%) was the most frequently reported violent offence committed by a current or ex-spouse, followed
by major assault (14%), uttering threats (11%) and criminal harassment (8%). Assaults accounted for a large proportion
of spousal violence in the western provinces and territories, while criminal harassment and uttering threats were most
prevalent in Quebec.
• Male victims of spousal abuse were nearly twice as likely as female victims to report incidents of major assault (23% of
male victims vs. 13% of female victims). One possible explanation may be that while male spousal abusers are more
likely to use physical force, female abusers tend to rely on weapons.
• Charges were laid by police in three-quarters (77%) of all police-reported incidents of spousal violence in 2006. Incidents
involving female victims were more likely to result in a charge being laid than those involving male victims. The percentage
of spousal violence incidents that have resulted in police charging has remained fairly stable over the 9-year period
from 1998 to 2006. Police charging for spousal abuse was highest in Manitoba (92%) and Ontario (90%), and lowest
in Newfoundland and Labrador (56%) and New Brunswick (57%).
• Injuries were more likely to be sustained by current spouses than former spouses (59% vs. 27%), as well as by victims
living in the territories and western provinces. Injuries resulting from the use of a weapon (7%), though not common,
were more likely among male victims than females (15% vs. 5%), and more likely among victims of spousal abuse living
in Manitoba (13%) and Saskatchewan (10%).
Women reported their violent victimization to police in 26% of
incidents, compared to 38% of incidents involving men. The
lower rate of reporting for women may be driven, in part, by the
fact that women were more often than men the victim of sexual
assault, which is the offence most likely to go unreported.

1)
Because some women refuse to report the crime, preferring to hide their scars and bruises,
and,
2)
Because a high proportion of men ("real men"?) would rather remain ignorant of the facts, preferring instead to blame feminism for everything that has ever gone wrong in their lives.
2)
Too many people turn a blind eye to what is going on in their neighborhood, environment or family.
4)
Too few of society ever actually come into contact with the realities of life within our ‘civilized community’.

I was abused by a step grandparent from a very young age (before I can remember) until his death when I was 13. I have been badly affected by this and other issues of familial neglect and have been having therapy for over 6 years. I am now 38.

I still feel really angry and upset with my abuser and feel like I have nowhere to take it as he died before I could expose him and make him accountable.

I would like to know how other people have coped with this?

Personally, I wrote down everything I was feeling, went to the sea on stormy days and screamed my lungs out, punched the h*ll out of pillows, took up a martial art and let myself just feel angry for a time.

Therapy will help, it takes different time for different people. Make sure not to turn the anger in on yourself as it is only more destructive. Easier said than done, I know.

Your feelings are totally normal, and it’s healthy to feel anger towards the abuser iv been told. My anger slowly subsided over time. It’s not away and I don’t expect these feelings ever totally subside.

be strong *hugs*

im doing this play in which i play a person who like to keep distant from drug abusers and dealers in life no matter how close they are to me.
soo i wanted your help in coming up with a rather funny, interesting but at the same time believable list of” top 10 reasons why I avoid drug abusers"
thanx in advance

My top 10 reasons to avoid drug abusers:

1. I don’t like walking around with my hand on my wallet. It looks like self-abuse and the ladies look at me kinda funny.

2. At parties, they’re likely to dive under the table when my girlfriend is helping herself to the punch; they may not actually be looking up her skirt but I’d rather not take the risk.

3. I just hate the whole rigmarole of having to report my stolen mobile to the police, then conveying the complaint docket number to the cellphone company to get the number blocked, then applying in triplicate to have the number assigned to a new SIM card… and having to pay for all this, plus the new instrument. It’s just too much.

4. They see things I can’t. I’d rather that we all saw the same things. It’s hard to battle Mediaeval Knights when one can’t see them, especially when all one wants to do is sleep because it’s frickin’ 2 a.m.!

5. They keep saying, "Man" and I don’t like to be reminded that I’m over 40.

6. Women are attracted to them because they are wild and dangerous. At least, all my girlfriends who went with them told me that. Maybe I’ll invest in some pills… the blue kind…

7. They get more sympathy than I do.

8. They’d probably be able to think up 8th, 9th and 10th reasons, while I have to rely on logic.

9. Every woman I know wants to change them, which makes them blinking chick magnets! I’m already husband material, so no one is interested.

10. They don’t answer. Not even at Yahoo! Answer. That makes them mysterious. Guess what that does to the women???

My boyfriend is an emotional abuser. In the past 2 years he has ignored me(and my feelings), I would touch him sometimes with no response, when I speak he would wrinkle up his nose and have disgust in his voice, he yells alot over things such as the laundry not done quite like he likes, i’ve seen road rage, and just recently i looked in computer history and he had made a new e-mail address that I wasn’t aware of. I confronted him, he lied. I made him open it in front of me, nothing there, but I’m sure he was PLANNING on using for something…….Now he is being really nice(a different person) for like the past 2 weeks). Can someone like this change without professional help?

No an emotional abuser will not change without a lot of therapy. What is happening now is called "The honeymoon phase" getting you to let your guard down and feel kind hearted towards him again.

There is no way of knowing how long this will last but, it isn’t going to.

If the new email account wasn’t deleted it’s still waiting there to be used.

If you saw your best friend in the situation you are in what would your advice be to her?

You have to be good to yourself and be your own best friend. Above all else be brave enough to see the truth.