AbusersAnon.com – A help centre for domestic abusers

i am a victim and product of sexual abuse and was wondering if the types of thoughts i was having normal for me under these condtions and what are some prevenative measures i can take to ensur that i dont be come one

The best thing you can do to heal yourself is to get into some type of counseling. Most communities have free mental health services. They will help you to work through the trauma and give you the tools to ensure you have a healthy future. There are many things that can happen to people that have been abused. They range from possibly being abusers, to being promiscuous, to substance abuse. I understand that you don’t want to become one and, i feel, the best thing you could do to prevent that would be to work with a counselor to overcome what happened to you.

A person who is injured in a car accident can sue the person (driver) responsible for the accident for lost wages, hospital bills, pain & suffering, ETC and this driver didn’t purposely break the road rules to cause such suffering. A victim of childhood molestation suffers their entire life due to one person selfishly and purposely putting their own sexual pleasure before the welfare of someone else. This act leaves the victim with a lifetime of psychological issues and typically tens of thousands of medical bills for medications and psychotherapy not to mention possible relationship trouble and eating disorders. So, can a victim of childhood sexual abuse sue their molesters, especially if the abuser admitted to the crime?

Yes, often they can, and it happens frequently. They can even do it when the person was never convicted of a crime related to the abuse. Sometimes they can also sue a third party that had a duty to protect them and failed. However, there are still a few states that won’t let people sue under tort for psychological damage and related costs unless there is also physical injury…those sorts of laws are going away, though.

I’m pretty loose on my medical drug standards and enjoy a nice bong hit every now and then but jezz every alternative medical question that comes up has to do with illegally popping pills. At least pot is legal in some states. Taking pills without a script, giving pills to friends that are on same script, or trying to figure out dosage of oxy to get high. WTH!!!!
Thanks for agreeing looks like parents need to control what their kids are doing on the net more eh?

It’s a blight on this section, imo, as are the posters who appear to be here to contribute nothing except downplay any alternative to mainstream drugs. After all, this is the Alternative Medicines section, not the Drug Users and Denialists section.

It would not be a very wise political thing for Yahoo to have a drug users section. I realize that all the druggie questions generate more traffic and adverstising dollars, but that is no justification to me for allowing such questions.

Just my two cents.

I have heard that when people hit their rock bottom is when they seek help. I hope you are doing OK. Take Care.

I am working on a paper I’ve done some researching and cannot find any laws or cases where parents are considered as having committed child abuse if they let their children become obese. I just wanna double check that before I write a whole paper about how there should be a law for childhood obesity being a form of child abuse.

there should be.

How does a person go about becoming secure and mature enough to stop abusing their partner?

What is the process, how long does it take?

I believe they have to lose something for which they care very deeply. Some incredibly strong loss event like that will force them to see all kinds of things.

If this happens though and they don’t have anyone around to help them find it, there’s a chance they might not find it themselves and sink into a bottomless pit of despair… But, whether they find it themselves or have help finding it, they can get better.

Is pornography part of the reason for the amount of rapists and woman abusers there are?

Rape has existed a lot longer than pornography has. I’ve been enjoying porn since I was a small child, and I’ve never raped or abused a woman.

Why don’t they just leave when the abuser goes to work or goes out?

i am a non abusive male and do not understand why women put up with abuse. let me say that there has to be a million reasons why women do not get out. it seems to me that there are 2 main reasons. FEAR and FINACIAL SECURITY. i will also say that there are plenty of organizations that are eager to help these women, so, ladies, talk to co-workers, friends, neighbors,etc. look through yellow pages of your local phone directories. there is help available,trust in this and your life will surely improve and you WILL NOT regret it, especially if there are kids involved. everyone has the right to live a peaceful, happy, prosperous life. best wishes!!!!!!

I use to know of two highly affective treatment centers for self abusers, both have closed; not sure why. I am looking on behalf of a woman I recently meant through her bishop, to find her a treatment center that is for adults. That deals with self abuse beyond just cutting. She is a cutter, she burns, she’s done it all. She will never get the help she needs here in Ogden Utah, at any hospital. I have seen 70 people personally die from self abuse & anorexia her in our area. Her bishop is willing to pay for treatment if it is specialize & can prove it works. Also, we are looking for a therapist not connected to McKay Dee Hospital in Ogden, Utah & not out of the Weber County Mental Health, as both are where I’ve seen many get nothing but drugs & the treatment they offer self abusers isn’t effective. I have helped many but this woman needs at least one month of intense inpatient help & is willing to go inpatient, only in a specialized setting.
Please don’t give me a list. I only want to hear from those who have been in successful inpatient treatment or has a loved one or friend who has & it gave them the help they needed to stop their self abuse. Drugs have done nothing to help her stop. She needs a place that will help her do memory work, that will teach skils for better coping.
Once out, we need to find a therapist who is patient, supportive &doesn’t use committments & drugs to control people. We need this to be someone in Ogden, Riverdale, Roy, Bountiful, Layton, Brigham or near by areas to Ogden. A therapist who has had success with treating self abusers, people with drug &alcohol problems in their past. Someone who will see her for reduced rates. Someone who is a psychologist in private practice not connected to McKay Dee hospital or it’s behavioral health unit outside the hospital or the county mental health center. Someone with proven success in this area as they will be checked out by us.
If you leave an answer would you please post the name of the treatment center, it’s address if you know it & if you don’t know the address, the state & city where it is located. The name of a contact there that I can speak to about the center & a phone number if you have it. All this would be on a copy of a bill from the treatment center.

If you are answering about a good therapists in the Ogden or surrounding area, not connected to McKay Dee or the County Mental Health Center, can you give me the name & phone number &why you are recommending them if you can.

Also, if you can share if you are willing, about why the treatment center helped, what was good about it, any concernes you had about it. Same for why you would recommend a specific therapist.

Thank you for any reverals you can offer.

Please share my question with others, so they can reply if they know of positive treatment centers anywhere in the US and/or therapists in the areas of Utah mentioned above.

I suffered from self abuse for quite some time..no meds can help..its very hard, soul searching work…i went to an inpatient program which put me on the right track..when i left the 1 month program i had stopped 95% of my self abuse..then within the next few months stopped completely..this is the only program that i know of that people are treated with the utmost respect…i can give you the name of the book it is based off of..its called "bodily harm" by Drs, Karen Conterio and Wendy Lader..i worked with both of them…again, you have to be ready to stop and the work you do is emotionally draining..being with others though who have experienced these feelings of why we use self abuse was helpful..the inpatient clinic used to be here in Chicago but now is located in UBH (University Behavioral Health) 2026 W. University Dr.
Denton Texas 76201 and is called S.A.F.E…(self abuse finally ends)…http://www.selfinjury.com/ if you go to their web site, in the referal area..it lists therapists in your area that specialize in treating ppl who self abuse but please..if possible, get her to the program…it will be the hardest thing she has ever had to face but, if she is honest with herself, she will make it…

Before you answer, why is a drug that has little physical dependence, and is proven to assist in medical purposses illegal? If Oxycontin is prefered over heroin in abusers, why is this medication legal even though it is far more dangerous and addictive that marijuana? Alcohol is a better example to justify the hipocracy….

Marijuana has little if any legitimate medical use. Plus there is no money to be made from it by the big pharmaceutical companies.