AbusersAnon.com – A help centre for domestic abusers

When I hear he is dating, it makes me mad and i feel bitter towards him. Does this mean I am in still in love with him or just jealous because he wouldn’t take me out and wine and dine me when we were married?

Depending on how long you were married and how long you’ve been divorced, this is all normal. Just because you divorce a person doesn’t mean you automatically fall out fo love with them. Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you because you know that even though you love them, it’s not healthy to stay…like in your case.

In time, you will grow to understand that you did what was best. And no matter what he does for another woman, it won’t erase the scars of what his abusive behavior did to you. Once you have truly moved on with your life, you’ll begin to care less and less.

I know its not my Business but just out of curiosity if you use drugs alot tell me what type of drug you are using and how your life is going while on it? its just to help me understand drugs a little bit better.

ONLY IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING THEM! I WANT PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND OPINIONS! thank you:)

I do TONS of Claritin, Benedryl and Rx meds for allergies as get them so badly. I even go in for two injections weekly to control my allergies. These are all drugs. And, to be quite honest, my living conditions have improved as a result.

Those are drugs. I may abuse them as I take them too often, but it helps.

I know its not my Business but just out of curiosity if you use drugs alot tell me what type of drug you are using and how your life is going while on it? its just to help me understand drugs a little bit better.

ONLY IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING THEM! I WANT PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND OPINIONS! thank you:)

I do TONS of Claritin, Benedryl and Rx meds for allergies as get them so badly. I even go in for two injections weekly to control my allergies. These are all drugs. And, to be quite honest, my living conditions have improved as a result.

Those are drugs. I may abuse them as I take them too often, but it helps.

This could be physical, emotional or financial damage

Lots of variables here. If both "suspects" lived by themselves, did not force their habits on anyone else. Did not drive while drunk. Smoke in the presence of anyone. Both paid for their own insurance or at least had an employer that did as part of the job benefits. Then, it would be about even.However, people that smoke haven’t caused near as many accidents as those that are drunk.Second-hand smoke may have a basis in fact but not totally proven yet. So, all in all, if both are separated from others, it is equally unimportant. Put in the general population, the drinker will kill more.

My boyfriend of 5 years has this friend who likes to drink, party and sniff drugs a lot. I cant stand his friend because he is a druggy and a drunk, not to mention he stayed the night and kept me up with this loud mouth until 4 a.m. when i had to wake up and go to work at 7. I am so tired of my bf’s friend but he doesnt ever listen to me when i tell him he cant spend the night or come to our home or to family outings etc. What do i tell my boyfriend to get him to listen and see that his friend truly is a bad influence ( dont want to come between them) but i hate dunks and druggies

Do something to show your boyfriend that its bothering you,
if you don’t stand your ground your boyfriends going to just keep
letting him stay and be around all the time.
Next time your boyfriend lets him over or around and you tell your
boyfriend you dont want him around and he doesn’t listen then leave and go somewhere just to show you don’t want to be around it and
if your boyfriend doesn’t seem bothered that your upset or anything
then I think you should dump him, if he can’t respect how you feel and that you don’t like being around people like that then he’s obviously not
worth being with.

please encourage others to answer this question, I am very curious why so many people feel this way and the laws are not being changed.
What if the parents are the ones doing it ?

they should die

Take time for yourself and heal yourself or you may find yourself attracting another abuser. You need to regain your confidence before putting yourself out there and after five years of emotional abuse some wear and tear has been done to your confidence.So take it slow, especially with some of the wolves out there you need to be in tip top shape to take the plunge again.

Take time for yourself and heal yourself or you may find yourself attracting another abuser. You need to regain your confidence before putting yourself out there and after five years of emotional abuse some wear and tear has been done to your confidence.So take it slow, especially with some of the wolves out there you need to be in tip top shape to take the plunge again.

why do the abusers do it? what reasons would they have … like abuse they faced as a child, desire, etc…

i need good points for an ap psych/leadership presentation.
please list as many as possible!

victims usually end up victimizing. I personally beleive that it has a lot to do with abusive demonic spirits flocking to sickened abused people and passed on to the next victim and the chain cant stop unless you break that curse in your life by calling on God himself to fix you…. If a person doesnt get delivered from that abuse, they are very capable of abusing others without even thinking that what they do is wrong…. A good book on this subject is called "The door of Hope"…

wtf?!! I had documented police records of harrasing, not leaving my house, he is an alcoholic and drug abuser with a prior stalking and domestic violence order against him. we dated a year. i filed and temp was approved. in court he had atty, i did not but I had a voice mail from him threatening to make my life a living hell, swearing and saying he would within the bounds of the law of course not harm me physically, but he would make me beg him to stop, wish I was dead and pick off my friends and family one by one – I played this in court…. his atty basically said the last known violence was more than 6 months ago, that his vm was non threatening and he only was contacting me to see my kids which he bonded with. The judge denied my petition. basically did not even look at my evidence – I felt helpless. I even asked her what is a woman to do to protect herself? Its like the judge protected him.. but she did tell him ‘this relationship is over, so you really do not have any reason to contact her or write about her (oh he also blogs about me and defames me because I will not return his calls or emails).. this has been going on over 7 months!! Why would I be denied… it was clear this guy is imbalanced! Can I do anything about it now? also, after court, he blogged about me again and today he tried calling me – but no message this time and from another number. I do not want to be a statistic, I am a mother of young kids! My ex husband wants to beat thisn guy up – but of course hed be arrested right? I am so frustrated and feel so betrayed by a legal system that should be protecting me. I did everything right and defended myself, proved my case (well, not to the judge apparently)… if I fight back, I am in trouble, right? But he basically just got permission to do whatever he wants with no legal recourse on my part and he KNOWS this. I am terrified he is going to do something now because he left court all cocky and has had no consequence for his ongoing harrasment… any advice?

Basically the judge heard what you had to say and didn’t buy it. You can always try again in the future. Like the other poster said, just start a journal and keep calling the cops when this guy harasses you. Stay away from him. I know, not the answer you want, but its the reality of the situation.