AbusersAnon.com – A help centre for domestic abusers

Is there any specific body language or phrases or tips that would make me seem a little less vulnerable to an abuser/attacker?

I read the answer coming in until now. Some wrote you should walk in a certain way or try a behavior that shows not having fear. So far so good, but it will not work effectively. More important is that you *have no fear*.
You should watch some videos with Cesar Millan ‘The Dog Whisperer’. He trains dogs and changes their bad behavior by teaching the owner to change their energy. You can learn a lot from this.
You probably know that when you are afraid of dogs, that then you might get attacked by a dog, in contrary when you are not afraid, then the dogs will respect you and stay away.
So the same will work with attacker/abuser.
To change your energy is work you need to do and has to do with working on your fears, so you need to go pretty deep into your unconsciousness. Take it as a challenge and will cause some profound changes within yourself, – go for it. The benefit will be more than you can imagine now…
Rahmona
PS: You might go into a self defence class, that will benefit your body health, but also you will feel more secure of yourself, not because you will be able to defend yourself, but because your energy will be certain and stable and so also keep attacker away…
Edit: It was suggested to look into the eyes of people. Be careful with this, in some cultures and countries this can be felt as provocation and you must be really in balance with your energy to calm the other down. Learning to shoot is probably the last thing to do… Violence in no way is a solution…

they inject themselves with steroids to hit a ball with a stick & play ring around the rosy. isn’t that sad?

It’s not the sport that’s sad or dumb, just the people who let themselves get sucked into illegal drugs and/or steroids – and you’ll find them in every walk of life, not just sports in general or baseball in particular.

The guy who spills his drink, the guy who doesn’t finish it all, or the guy who adulterates it by mixing with cola?

Definitely the jerk who spills it, ARRG! What a waste!

That is NOT true! That is disgusting!

Why do they call you a bully when you talk about their behaviour, when you are justifiably angry, why is the whole situation manipulated so that "you have said much worse things to them then they have to you" when you have merely spoken the truth, and called them on their behaviour? Why do people who willfully instigate destructive, negative behaviours that have hurt you not understand the idea of "cause and effect"?..Anything I say to them now is merely reactionary, and is merely the truth?Would anybody have an insight into this behaviour..They sarcastically quip "Oh, and you’re perfect, there is nothing wrong with you, you are very caring and loving and kind" (Well, It would be destructive for me to be all the good things that I am to a person who is careless of my feelings in the very first place. Especially a parent.)

Emotional abusers don’t want reciprocation, they want control.

It’s not about fairness or equality.

It’s about who has the power, and they won’t let you have it, period. Observe this for a while and you will see it is true.

We hear that having been abused makes makes a person more likely to be an abuser themselves. I’ve also seen numbers suggesting that girls are more likely to be sexual abuse victims. So why are perpetrators more likely to be men? Are there any theories behind this?
Maybe I should explain myself better.

I’m talking about CHILD sexual abuse, not forcible adult rape.

***edit; just saw your added description***

I guess the most straightforward way to answer that is, well, most men are straight! Thus, they’d look for little girls rather than boys. And, as far as fitting that into your statistic, well, apparently the domation/control desire of the male sex is more dominant than the victim/vengance statistic of the female sex.

However, my other answer still falls into play here somewhat. It all has to do with domination and virginity.
~A young girl is almost always a virgin
~A young girl can almost always be forced into submission
~It wasn’t uncommon a few hundred years ago for barely pubescent girls to be sex slaves or sold as sex slaves in exchange for debts.
~Many religious texts (the bible included) look only at the submission aspect of sexual intercourse (and in a good light); thus, child rape and molestation is somehow sickly justified by some men as coming from a religious text.

I know the Bible mentions divorce from an adulter is acceptable, but how about a child abuser? This seems not to be mentioned anywhere.

I am a strong Christian and I do believe the Bible allows divorce from a child abuser. The Bible cannot possibly address every potential issue which may arise in life or even in marriage. But when you look at the spirit of God’s Word, and of what we know about God from the Bible, some things can be inferred.

Marriage should absolutely be treated with serious commitment and respect. However, God’s allowance of divorce in light of adultery suggests that there are betrayals of the marriage vows which are so grave that divorce is acceptable. Just as adultery is a violation of the sanctity and spirit of marriage, so child abuse is such a violation. In both instances, severe harm is being inflicted upon the family. And in both instances a mockery has been made of the responsibility to love, honor and protect. It is the abuser who has truly broken the vows.

God’s capacity to love is greater than that of any human being. And more than any human being, God wants His children protected and loved. That’s why adultery is an exception to the rule: God cares more about a hurting spouse than He does about strict adherence to rules regarding marriage (which is fundamentalism). Likewise, He cares more about hurting children than He does about strict adherence to these rules.

God is a loving Father, and I believe that He finds child abuse so heinous that divorce from an abuser who can’t or won’t change is not only allowed, but RIGHT in His eyes. God would not want your (His) children to be held prisoner in a home where they were being egregiously harmed and permanently scarred.

Do you have a good slogan for all the people who abuse drugs? Please give it here. Let each one of us help a drug addict to come out of it and live a better life. We could at least try. Please, it’s an honest appeal. Let us try and talk them out of it.
In my life I have been successful in making 3 people quit smoking. I am a non-smoker and a non-drinker myself.
I have never touched drugs and do not intend to do so in future.

Drugs are bad.

sorry, that ones not really helpful..

People are going to drugs if they feel like it. And they are only going to quit if they want to. You can’t make anyone do anything, unless they’re already considering it.
But its always a good thing to make people realize you CAN be happy being sober, and you do feel better about yourself when you are.

BTW, I wish u live by me so you could help me quit smoking. Its a very hard thing to do, kudos to those you helped quit.

She had gastric bypass and the doctor said if shedrinks it Will KILL HER Please im begging you help please

I know I’m gonna get loads of thumbs down but if she’s functioning and she’s happy, let her be. My doc told dad (who is a moderate drinker, a few a day) if he keeps drinking his life will be alot shorter and he said he doesn’t want a long life if he can’t enjoy a few drinks along the way – I totally agree.
Life ain’t everything, its how you enjoy it and what you do with it.
Would you rather live 80 years and be miserable or 50 years and be happy?? You never know WHEN you are going to die, could be in an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year… nobody knows… ENJOY LIFE!!!

I did not hear about them 20 years ago and now on almost every news there is always someone….

There aren’t. 20 years ago the subject ‘wasn’t discussed’, wasn’t reported in the press, and probably more importantly, children’s evidence was not viewed as reliable in courts.

We are more aware of it now, we do more to combat it now and we report it in the press now.

Sadly, this has spawned a whole genre of books of the "I had an abusive childhood and I want to guilt trip you into buying my book about it".

You have to wonder who actually wants to read such things!