AbusersAnon.com – A help centre for domestic abusers

The four types of child abuse are: Physical, Neglect, Sexual, and Emotional. I am against child abuse 100 percent. My statement is "Should children who have been abused be returned to their abusers?" I need to know how children would react to all the four types (listed above) if they were returned back to their abusers.

it does not result very good.
the child lives in fear and are
very scared at home.

I am 45.I am a very good mother to 2 adult sons that love me like no other. I Have a wonderful husband, business and life!
(Ok, now that I have proved my sanity) 2 years ago I stood up to my mother for the first time in my life. She has been mentally abusive to the whole family, especially to my dad. Everyone uses me as a shoulder to cry on when she pisses them off. So I wrote a very tactful letter asking her why she treated everyone close to her like she did. No harsh words, I wanted to know if we all did something wrong.
Her response was full of utter hatred, name calling and complete disownment. My dad is on her side even though he’s come to me several times about how he can’t stand her.
It’s been 2 yrs. since we’ve talked. My sisters 50th B.Day party is this weekend. My parents will be there. I don’t want to go cuz I’m afraid they may cause a scene, but my sister will be hurt if I don’t.
WHAT DO I DO?
p.s. I’ve developed post traumatic stress disorder cuz of their abuse

I think it would be great therapy to be able to face your abusers but if you aren’t on that level of healing then don’t put yourself through it. Also, it’s very understandable that you don’t want to take the chance that your presence will cause a conflict and ruin your sister’s day.

Explain to your sister how you feel and ask her if she would mind having a "just sister" day. The two of you could go shopping, to the movies, theater, or out to lunch and enjoy each others company in peace.

say they have the option to leave but they don’t and they don’t have any children either. why do they stay?

and please no "because they are stupid" answers, thank you.
can anyone explain this?

Well from experience (sadly but true). I was abused emotionally and the guy I was dating for some reason knew how to pull me back in everytime I tried to get away. I stayed with him because I sometimes felt like if I was without him that i’d be missing out or i’d keep thinking it’ll get better, it’ll get better. The guy messed with my head and he knew what to say, do, act in order to keep me with him. He would sometimes make me feel bad for things he did and when we would get in an argument that (he started) he would make me feel bad and thinks it’s my fault. All in all the guy made me feel like I was doing a bad thing if I was to leave him and like I said he knew how to draw me back in and he knew what it took for him to do to keep me there. When I was in the relationship I tended to disreguard the negative no matter how often it happened if I could get at least one positive out of him. It sounds dumb now that I think about it, but you don’t neccessarily realize that you shouldnt be with him whether your friends, family, etc etc tells you. I had to figure it out for myself and luckily I’m out of that situation thank God, but yeah I hoped this made since and help some if any…

Anyone seen a statistic on this lately?

A lot. See what I mean, you talk about social programs and some lib brings up stuff about military contracts. GEt your head out of your ***

ok i read a story about this girl getting abused by her drunk grandmother beacuse the cilg had been really mean ti the grandma all the time the grandma pushes her into tha tub and started punshing her and then the mom heards the screaming and comes in to wip the little girl.

what should the people do????

The grandmother should NOT abuse the child just because the child was mean to her. There are other ways to discipline children other than throwing them into the bathtub and punching them!
Why the heck is the mother whipping the girl? That family is just very abusive. The family should stop doing that, and if they don’t then the child needs to be taken to a better family.

What are some support groups that the family member can go to? for a drug abuser?

Check with your local chapter of NAMI. They will have a listing of support groups for just about everyone.

this is an ethical questions what are the arguements for and against this?

No they should stop being a fucking drunk

leave the transplants for ppl who deserve them

- morally i have to say give them another chance but they must go to AA and be dry… alcohol is a reliance so if the ppl arent ready… thats a waste of a liver that could save anothers life.

Prisons are already overcrowded but what can be done to change a child abuser’s attitude and choices?

Unfortunately, not much can be done. The problem with child abusers is that they have an anger and psychosocial problem, and even if they complete anger management and therapy, children are still unpredictable and unassuming, and the abuser goes back to the same state of mind as before.

If you’re referring to abusive parents, the main problem is that even though they recognize their behaviour as angry and abusive, a child is still a child, and will have tantrums and fits to which the abuser sees as an excuse to hit the child. With adults it is different, they are more predicatable (sometimes) in their behaviour with other adults. Children are not so.

With sexual abuse, it’s ingrained in the abuser’s head. That is why many are forced to have no contact with children out of prison, but as soon as they do have contact, something horrible happens. The behaviour cannot be changed. Many sexual predators also have a different mindset, and feel that the child is coming on to them, even if the child only looks at them or acts nice towards them on one occasion.

The only solutions right now are complete isolation from children for child abusers (with the children in safe custody with others), and for repeat offenders, we may need to consider chemical castration for them or permanent house arrest. There is no easy answer, because we have no tools to change their psyche.

Psychopaths don’t have a conscience. But if he is even sometimes exceptionally cruel you need to move on.

i guess abusers mostly abuse victims by controling them and feel the power. so, when the victims learn to leave them and they longer have that someone to control. how will the respond to the situation?

I have experienced this. You spend years trying to earn the approval of this/these persons, and find yourself repeatedly walking into an emotional fist. You examine yourself over and over again, wondering what it is that makes them treat you the way they do.

What a liberation it is, when you realise that it’s them. You gain the strength to sever all ties, and bang! You completely disarm them! Taking back your power is the greatest thing you can ever do for yourself. You have to leave your abuser to their own devices. Good riddance to them.

My life is so much better now, I don’t recognise it from the years of misery.

If you’re in this situation anyone, I encourage you to place the blame where it belongs and get as far away as you can. Don’t look back!